Love Across the Stars
by starwarslover12
Summary: Obidala: Padme and Obi-Wan's love survives even in the worst of times. DISCLAIMER: I don't own Star Wars. An old friend of mine started this story 10 years ago and never finished it. I came upon it recently and wanted to finish it. Enjoy.
1. Chapter 1

Obi-Wan store out the window; the rain hit hard as darkness rolled in. Rain hardly came to Coruscant and it came when he was depressed, and it seemed he had been for years. He chugged down the last sip of his drink and placed the cup on the table with the counter with a thud. By now he had lost count on how many he'd had.

"Hit me again, Dex." he said.

The large creature behind the counter took a look at his friend. His eyes were red, his skin was pale; purple rings were under his eyes and he wondered when the last time he slept.

"I think you've had enough. Why don't you go back to the Temple and get a good night's sleep." Dex suggested, as he took the glass away.

"I haven't had one of those in years", Obi-Wan said as he reached over to take it back, but his head was throbbing too much to concentrate. He let his head sink on the counter.

"Obi-Wan, this is the third night this week, will you tell me what's bothering you? It's un-Jedi like to come in here and leave intoxicated."

Obi-Wan sighed. "It's un-Jedi like to fall in love as well." he muttered. Dex gave him a quizzical look.

He sighed again. He couldn't drink the pain away, nor could he run away and hide from it. His best bet was to move on with his life and forget about her...but he couldn't. He would never lose her, he loved her.

Obi-Wan stumbled through the rain to the prestigious entrance of 500 Republica. Not eve his robes could protect him from the beat down of the water. Though he was still in the effect of the alcohol, he still thought it may be a bad idea to be doing this. He hesitated to go inside. He knew Anakin was at the Temple by now, but that wasn't what worried him. It was the fact that he was about the enter the apartment of a woman who no longer loved him. Yes, she _used_ to love him.

It was wrong to meddle in her and Anakin's relationship, even when he knew of their attachment to each other. But he didn't care, he had loved her. Even when he first met her; when she was 14 and he was 25. He knew that was wrong in so many ways, but age is just a number right? She was very mature for her age, and since then she'd grown into a beautiful woman. He'd always had an attachment to Padme since then and he finally had the courage to tell her; a day that seems so far away now. But the memories of then just made his stomach hurt, and that's when he entered the and there was no turning back now.

The elevator seemed slower than usual. After all, he had used it countless time before during his late night visits. The room seemed to be spinning Obi-Wan realized he was nearing his destination.

Padme was lying down in bed, about to turn of the light when the monitor on the nightstand started beeped. Her eyes widened. _Anakin didn't say he was coming tonight,_ she thought. She got out of bed, threw on the robe over her nightgown and exited the room down the hall. It was quiet and dark since the droids had powered off and the handmaidens had retired for the night. Padme turned on the light of the sitting room and that's when the elevator door opened to reveal the body of Obi-Wan Kenobi fallen on the floor.

"Oh my stars! Obi-Wan!" Padme shrieked, running to his side. She turned him over and cradled him in her arms. He was drenched and his skin was pale and cold as she brushed back his damp hair from his face.

"Obi-Wan, wh-what are you doing here?" she asked. She saw him open his eyes now, they were red and blotchy. It took him a moment to answer her.

"Padme..." he whispered her name.

"Here, let me help you up-"

"No!" he protested, taking hold of her hand; touching her soft skin. She trembled at how cold he was.

"Did you walk all the way here from the Temple?" she asked, "you're so cold." she added squeezing his hand tighter, to warm him.

"I...I had to see you." he stammered. As he spoke she felt his breath hit her face hard; she practically gagged.

"Obi-Wan, have you been drinking?"

He didn't respond; he knew he wouldn't have to. He saw the answer in her sad eyes. She looked back into his, and there she saw the man she once loved; it felt so long ago.

He yearned for her, and part of her wanted him, but only a small part. The rest of her belonged to Anakin, and she didn't want to be unfaithful to him. But the way she felt as Obi-Wans hot breath hit on her neck reminded her much she missed him.

"Please, don't make me leave yet." he muttered, practically begging.

"Of course, I'm not letting you go back in that. You'll catch pneumonia," Padme says, "but you at least have to get up from the floor."

Obi-Wan let her help him to his feet. With his arm around her shoulder they stumbled to the couch. He plopped down on his back and carried the Senator down with him on top of him. She let out a chuckle. Though still intoxicated, Obi-Wan looked into her eyes and swore he saw he saw the light of her love return for him in her eyes. She didn't seem in any hurry to move off of him.

"Why did you come here Obi-Wan?" she asked sincerely.

"Because I need to tell you something..." he said, softly touching her cheek. She flinched, but didn't move away.

"Tell me what?"

He moved his hands to her back and began massaging her, she did as he wanted and laid her head down on his chest.

"That I...I still love you..." Obi-Wan said, his voice fading away softly.

Padme lifted her head off him, then she sat up off his chest. She turned away from him. She didn't want to look at him.

"Padme...say something." he said, sitting up beside her.

"I...I don't know," she stammered.

"Tell me you love me!" Obi-Wan said, his voice cracked.

"I can't..." she said softly, then rose to walk away but he grabbed her hand and pulled her back.

"You do love me don't you?" he questioned. She didn't fight back to leave, but she did fight to not look at him. She sat back down.

"It's the alcohol. Why else would you ask me?"

"Because I need to know. Do you love me?"

Padme felt tears swell up in her eyes.

"No...No Obi-Wan, I don't love you. Not that way...not anymore...My...my heart belongs to Anakin now." she said, and he saw her struggle.

"But...what we had. It was real...wasn't it?" he asked.

She didn't want to answer. She didn't want to talk about this. She thought that part of her life was over.

"Padme...Answer me, damn it!" Obi-Wan called out in rage. Now Padme was looking at him, with terrified eyes. Her lips quivered ever so slightly as her body trembled in fright.

She'd never seen him this way.

Obi-Wan's anger melted away when he saw her frightened eye. He thought he saw tears in them.

 _Kenobi, what have you done?_ he thought. He eased his hand slowly up to touch her face. She made no attempt to move, but flinched like a frightened child when he touched her face. His fingers massaged her silky cheek softly. The pain in her eyes began to fade.

"Padme, forgive me. I-" he began to say but she interrupted him.

"Shh...hush now Master Kenobi. Please, don't ruin it."

He did as he was told, but what was she talking about?

She took her own fingers and began touching his lips softly; as if they were foreign to her. Then she slowly got closer to him and put her lips to his. Not caring that she was married, not caring that she didn't love him. Well that's what she told him, to make him believe she didn't. But Padme had a darker side; one that turned her life into a living hell and she swore never to tell anyone or she'd face dire consequences. And to be here with Master Kenobi again, in this brief moment of insanity, was a sweet salvation she embraced in open arms before it was to be set ablaze by the life she'd chosen to live.

Now the question was, how long could she make it last?


	2. Chapter 2

_Flashback_

The stars shone brightly as they dotted the sky that night. It could never have been more beautiful. If only the whole galaxy were like this. But at that moment Naboo was probably the most happiest. Not only had they defeated the Trade Federation, but there was peace among the upper world and the lower world of the Gungans. But if it was all so great, why wasn't she happy?

Padme had snuck out of her room that night to visit the garden. She had too much on her mind to sleep, and most of it was clouding her head at this very moment. She couldn't think straight in her oversized bed in her grand bedchamber in the palace. The garden had been the one place she'd managed to get away, but not for long. Usually everyone would be searching frantically for the young queen, but now she felt like she'd escaped from them; at least for a little while.

Padme came to the small pool of water with an exquisite water fall that splashed and formed ripples and waves on the surface. Looking over the edge at a calm spot she saw her reflection. When she looked at herself she didn't see the headstrong queen or the brave fighter they all knew she was; no, she saw her true self, a frightened child. Padme tapped her hand over the water in disgust to rid the image.

People in her position aren't supposed to be afraid; no, that was everyone else's job. And hers was to be strong and brave, for their sakes. What would they think if they saw her like this? What would the Naboo think? What would the Republic think? What would the Jedi think? Oh yes, the Jedi,

they would be leaving in the morning. Newly appointed Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi and his new padawan Anakin Skywalker. How would she ever say good bye to them? Truth is, she didn't want them to go; or more directly, she didn't want Master Kenobi to go. Though young and without his Master's guidance, he was still strong willed.

She'd admired his courage and ever since the celebration earlier that day she felt sick to her stomach. That feeling was returning as he entered her mind again. She felt knotted up inside and her throat was dry. She leaned over the pool again to splash water on her face to refresh herself. She didn't hear someone approach her but she did hear them say,

"Your highness-"

The voice startled Padme and leaned over the edge, she fell in to the pool and slipped under the water. She knew how to swim of course, but right now she couldn't think at all, and she panicked. Before slipping away, she felt a shudder in the water and someone there with her. She wanted to scream, but couldn't. Her eyes closed and she felt the world slip away from her vision.

"Your highness, wake up...please," a soft voice said faintly. Her eyes opened slowly and who she saw made her heart sink.

"Master-" she tried to say his name but her voice was caught in her throat. She coughed it back to life, to remove the excess water from her lungs. She thought she would choke. Obi-Wan patted her back softly to ease her coughs. His touch made her jump. He took his hand back.

"Master-" she felt another tickle in her throat so she cleared it, rather loudly.

"Are you alright m'lady?" he asked, looking very worried.

Padme felt like she couldn't speak, and it wasn't the water; it was because of the look Master Kenobi was giving her. He'd just saved her life.

"I..." she cleared her throat again, "I think so...Master Kenobi."

He sighed with relief and his shoulders sank as he moved away.

Padme was saddened now because he wasn't looking at her. Instead he took his cloak from beside him and wrapped it around her quivering shoulders. His hands were touching her skin ever so slightly. She reached up to pull it tighter around her damp body but touched his hands instead.

"I'm sorry" she muttered softly, embarrassed. She felt her cheeks grow warm.

He took his hands away.

"Thank you," Padme said, trying to not look into his eyes.

"You're welcome." he muttered.

There was an awkward moment of silence between them and Padme knew she had to break it.

"Not only for that but for saving my life as well...and not just no. I feel I didn't get to thank you properly today at the celebration. Naboo is forever grateful for your services Master Kenobi. Thank you." she said. Padme couldn't help but look in his eyes now. In this light she couldn't tell if they were green or blue; she didn't care, they were mesmerizing. That sick feeling in her stomach was returning. She knew what it was now! LOVE! Yes, Padme Amidala was in love with Jedi Knight Obi-Wan Kenobi; or so her heart told her she was. But she wasn't sure what she told her to do what she did next.

Lost in Kenobi's mesmerizing orbs of blue, no wait green, or whatever, eyes, she leaned in closer to him and met his lips. Surprised by her own action, but more surprised by Obi-Wan's because he didn't pull away; not right away anyways. He tasted better than she anticipated. She took his face in her hands, so he couldn't get away; but her spontaneity quickly faded as she realized what she'd just done. She let go of him and opened her eyes, looking down in embarrassment. She dared not to look at him.

Obi-Wan cleared his throat to break the awkward moment and started time again.

"Well...um...it's late your highness. We should get you inside and out of those wet clothes before you catch pneumonia."

Padme only nodded. Obi-Wan stood up. He offered his hand to her and she accepted it kindly. Still wrapped in his robe, he led her back inside.

 _What happens in the garden, must stay in the garden_ , she thought to herself.


	3. Chapter 3

Light peeked in through the blinds as the suns greeted a new day. It was morning.

 _Morning already,_ Padme thought, as her eyes shot open, aware of the present situation. She was still wrapped in Obi-Wan's arms; he was sleeping peacefully beside her. Had she really done what she thought she did? His hot breath on her neck reassured her. _Yes, yes, you did it. You made sweet, passionate love to Master Kenobi last night, here in your bed. Not only is it your bed, but it's your husband's as well. Oh my stars, what have I done?_ she questioned herself. _What were you thinking?! There's no way that happened. It couldn't be Obi-Wan._ But the prickles of hair on her cheek reminded her it was. It was Obi-Wan's arm wrapped around her waist; it was Obi-Wan's breath on her neck that caused her spine to tighten; and it was Obi-Wan's scent inhaled into her lungs; which she was surprised to see were not convulsing yet.

But on the other side of her worries she saw he beauty of it all. She reminded herself how much she still cared for Obi-Wan and that she still had feelings. Hell, they never went away! Obi-Wan was kind, soft, and gentle. Those were three things Anakin never was and will be. The man who laid beside her was her one true soul mate, and yet she knew she could never be with him again; it tore her heart apart that she gave this up, but it burned her that she'd betrayed Anakin; not that she even loved him, anymore. There was a time when she did love Anakin the same way she loved Obi-Wan, but that felt so far away from her now. She did love Anakin, which is why she gave Obi-Wan up but now she yearned to have him back, and the little slice she had of him was not enough to satisfy her appetite.

She felt Obi-Wan's arm move and then he groaned. He began to stir awake.

"Morning," Padme said as sweetly as she could.

Obi-Wan moaned and stretched. "Morning" he said, surprised he remember what had happened last night and where he was; but he had a terrible headache and his stomach felt sick. He groaned again.

"Are you alright Obi-Wan?" Padme asked as she sat up beside him.

"I'm fine," he said hesitantly. Padme saw something in his eyes. She turned away from them.

Obi-Wan placed his hand on her bare back and rubbed it softly.

"I...I don't regret anything." she spoke softly, "but I'm not sure what we're getting ourselves into. Anakin-"

He cut her off, "Anakin is your husband and it was wrong for me to do what I did, but Jedi have no regrets."  
"He's going to find out somehow. This room, the bed!" Padme sighed in anger, then she laid back down, facing the wall. Concentrating, trying to rid of last night's events. Obi-Wan laid down, supported by his forearm and shoulder, looked down at her. He'd never seen her more beautiful.

"Padme..." he whispered softly. +9"I love you," he added, as he leaned down and kissed her shoulder.

Padme didn't know how to respond to him. _Was this was love felt like?_ It'd been so long and the thought of Anakin finding out she'd betrayed him made her sick, or was that the love after all? These feelings were just too much for her to handle at the same time. She couldn't stare at the wall, she had to talk to him.

"Obi-Wan," she said, then sat up beside him.

He had that innocent look in his eyes that she couldn't resist. He was distracting her from what she had to do. She grabbed the sheet around her body and walked to the other side of the room; away from him so she could think without him distracting her; but all he did was follow her. He touched her shoulder. It felt like his fingers burned her bare skin. She took a breath and finally spoke.

"I can't see you anymore Obi-Wan."

She didn't want to see his face; his heart was breaking as she had just fixed it. Last night she had said she couldn't live without him and she missed him. He said he would never leave. She had felt like a child; but now it was time to grow up again.

"But what about last night, what we said-"  
"How am I to make you understand?! You should know that this is wrong...no matter how right it feels to me. I can't have you _and_ Anakin."

"Then leave him. You said last night you don't love him."

She sighed, "It's not that easy. The love I have for Anakin is different than the love I have for you."

"Then you do love me?"

"I mean...I don't know. This may have been a mistake. Can't we just go back to the way things were before?"

He now had his arm wrapped around her chest. Standing behind her, he rested his chin on her shoulder.

"It's not that easy, no matter how much we want it to b. If you don't want to see me anymore then there's nothing I can do to change your mind."

She sighed sadly. "I wasn't lying when I said that, and I don't regret it. It's just it'll be hard to keep us-" she was getting frustrated and choked on the words.

Obi-Wan turned her around to face him. He stroked her messy hair.

"Shh, hush now...leave the secret keeping to me. I promise I won't let anything happen to you."

He saw a glimmer of hope behind her tears. She threw herself into his chest, dropping the sheet around their feet. Their bare bodies touching; smooth traces of sweat trails left from the previous nigh fused together when they touched.

"Thank you," Padme whispered softly to his chest. He held her tight; he'd never let her go. A smile came to his face as he rubbed her back to ease her tears. And just for a moment, he felt their worries drift away to another place.

The wind blew back Padme's hair as she waited in the docking bay to say goodbye to the Jedi. She'd been dreading this moment since last night. Her feelings towards Master Kenobi had taken over her again and when she saw him enter with little Anakin she tried to maintain her balance. He came up to her and her group of handmaidens and security. He stopped then he and Anakin bowed in unison.

"It's a sad parting to leave such a beautiful place." Obi-Wan said, flashing her that cute innocent smile that made her heart melt. She felt her cheeks turn warm, but was relieved for her face makeup.

"Naboo is forever grateful for your services Master Jedi." she said, repeating what she had told him last night. "On behalf of my people, I thank you." Her eyes shifted towards Anakin. He looked sad.

"And to you to Ani, I mean Padawan Skywalker.", she smiled in embarrassment.

"Maybe we'll all meet again someday." Anakin said innocently.

Padme and Obi-Wan both smiled.

"Have a safe trip back to Coruscant, and May the Force be with you," Padme said, feeling more awkward than ever now.

Anakin snickered at her embarrassment, but Obi-Wan just smiled.

"Thank you my dear lady. I hope we meet again." he said, with that he and Anakin bowed once more, then they went up the ramp of the ship.

Padme felt her heart break as she watched them go. All she had of Obi-Wan now was her thoughts, and this sick feeling that never seemed to go away.

Obi-Wan had been in the meditating chambers all afternoon trying to rid his thoughts of Padme and the guilt that came over him as he entered the Temple. Fortunately he had not seen Anakin yet so was a relief. He'd probably gone to see her. He imagined how scared she must be. It broke his heart to see her so scared. But since he was a Jedi he had to mend it before entering the Jedi Temple. But the solution to his problem did not lie within the Temple walls; no, it was somewhere else. Perhaps even in a different time; back when things were simpler.


	4. Chapter 4

Seven years had passed and Padme was no longer the queen of Naboo, but a senator. The galaxy was now a different place and she missed living on Naboo every day. At least there it was quiet. On this eve it was Padme's 21st birthday and a few of her handmaidens were taking her out.

"Dorme please, where are we going?" Padme begged. Dorme was applying makeup to Padme's face.

"Shh, hold still. I'm almost done." Dorme said. Padme did as she was told, but was still curious to know where Sabe and Dorme were taking her.

"Alright. I'm done. You can look now."

Dorme then stepped out of Padme's view of the mirror. Padme looked in the mirror with hard eyes. Who was that staring back at her?

"What do you think?" Dorme asked, a mixture of excitement and nervousness in her voice. Padme didn't want to disappoint her.

"Looks great." Padme said, unable to hide her disappointment. She didn't look like herself at all and the makeup was too dark for her taste.

"You hate it," Dorme said disappointed.

"No, no...It's just...not me."

"It's no supposed to. What would people say if they saw Senator Amidala at a club partying?"

Padme's eyes widened, "What?!"

"Oops, it was supposed to be a surprise. Sorry Padme."  
"Well that explains this outfit and this makeup."

"Oh, and don't forget the wig."

"What wig?"

"This wig." Dorme said, handing Padme a clump of bright pink hair, "go ahead, and put it on."

Padme put the wig on. It flowed over her own smooth brown locks rather nicely.

"There. Tonight you're not Senator Amidala. You're Padme, the sexy virgin."

"Dorme!" Padme shrieked in horror, then burst into giggles along with Dorme.

"What. You need to find a guy. You know you'll find that right one when you get this warm and crazy feeling inside. Your stomach feels all knotted up inside and you smile a lot. It's a wonderful feeling."

Padme took a moment to think. She'd felt that way before once, but it was a long time ago.

She sighed. "Dorme...what would you say if I told you I knew what that feels like."

"I'd say 'really' and then 'oh my stars, with who'?"

Padme sighed sadly, "I...I can't tell you."

"Why not?" Dorme was now putting on her own makeup.

"Because it wasn't supposed to happen." Padme said softly.

Dorme saw her friend's face sink in sadness. She was sorry she brought it up now.

"You can't help falling in love Padme, it just happens. But when did it happen? Can you at least tell me that?"

"7 years ago...and I haven't seen him since. And probably never will, which is good for everyone because I could never have him."

"Who? Why can't you just tell me if you'll never see him again?"

"It was...Master Kenobi." Padme said, her voice faded.

"What? Really? _The_ Master Kenobi! Jedi Knight Master Kenobi."  
"Yes Dorme! Him! That guy!" Padme snapped.

"Oh...I see...Sorry I asked."

"It's alright. I needed to get it out. I never told anyone."

"I see why. He's a Jedi. Jedi can't fall in love."

"I know that. It was me who fell in love with him. I don't know how he felt and I never will. Which is the way it should be."

"I guess you're right. But hey, tonight is all about fun alright."

"I guess I better enjoy it. I may never get another chance to be Padme, the sexy virgin again."

Dorme chuckled, "True. Good thing Sabe went to get us a table, otherwise we'd never get one."

"I guess. Do you really think no one will recognize me?" Padme posed in front of her friend. She was wearing a black spaghetti strap dress with black strappy heels. The dress, a birthday gift from Dorme and Sabe for the occasion, was cut about 3 inches above her knee and showed off more cleavage area then she liked, but it was snug around her torso and flared out at her hips. She actually felt somewhat sexy, a change from her politician wardrobe.

"No way, if I didn't know better I wouldn't." Dorme said.

"Good. I don't want to run into anyone tonight. That's the last thing I want."

"Don't worry, it's just you, me, and Sabe having a fun night out. No worries."

Padme smiled. Maybe this would be fun after all.

Now Padme knew why the club scene was not for her. It was noisy, the spaced were tight, and it smelled rather awful. All she wanted was to go home. But she'd promised Dorme and Sabe she'd have a good time and dance with one guy before they left; so far no luck. Not that she wanted to anyways. Sabe and Dorme kept picking out guys on the floor for her to go up to, but she said no.

"I'm going to go get a drink," Padme said, her excuse to get away from their boy talk. Like she'd actually take a chance and drink whatever it was they served down here. The way to the bar was rather tight. She had to weave her way through the mass crowd of happy, and probably drunk, party goers. Padme then felt something touch her leg. She turned to see it was a hand. Padme jumped back in fright, almost tripping over her heels. The hand belonged to a man with brown hair. She looked in his eyes and saw a dazed expression. Exhibit A was clearly drunk.

"Hey honey, wanna dance." he said, grabbing Padme's arm.

"No thank you. Can you please let go of me?" She said politely.

"Wait baby, someone as sexy as yourself has to dance with me." he said, grabbing Padme's butt with his grubby hands.

"Stop it! I don't want to! Get off of me please!" Padme said, trying to push him away but he wouldn't budge. That's when he was yanked back away from her, and she fell over.

"Hey, she said she didn't want to dance so back off!" a voice said. Padme looked up to see who owned that familiar voice. She brushed back the strands of hair from the wig; and who she saw instantly made her heart fall to where her stomach should have been. It was Master Kenobi.

She'd lost her voice again.

"Maybe I don't wanna. What'cha gonna say to that buddy." the guy said.

"I say you better before I turn you in for sexual assault on this poor woman." Obi-Wan said.

"Oh, I'm so scared." he teased.

Obi-Wan went to his belt and drew out his lightsaber. "You should be," he said, holding the blue blade just inches from the man's face.

"Hey man, you're a Jedi. Take it easy with that thing."

"Then leave, while your arms are still intact."

Padme cringed at that. She'd never seen Obi-Wan like this before. How knew he could be such a threat.

The man then scurried away, frightened. Obi-Wan put his lightsaber away.

"Show's over folks" he said to the crowd that had gathered.

"Padme!"

Padme cringed. _Oh no, not now,_ she thought. She didn't need Dorme and Sabe to see _._ Now was the wrong time for this. It goes back to what she said about someone recognizing her. Well, they were giving it to him now. Why was Master Kenobi here in the first place? She'd been so lost in her own thought she didn't register the three hands in front of her face. She grabbed Obi-Wan's, but when she did she thought she felt a shock surge through her body. When she was on her feet again she tried not to make eye contact with him.

"Are you ok? Are you hurt?" Sabe asked concerned.

"I'm fine...I'm fine. Just go. I'll join you in a sec." Padme said. The two girls looked at her puzzled, then went back to their table. When they left the awkward feelings came back. All she could do was stare at him now, even though she vowed not to. My my, he'd grown. He now had longer hair in placed of the padawan look she last saw him with. He also had a growing beard, which made him look so much more mature than her, especially at this moment. Woah, he was so grown up in front of her. Well it had been 7 years since they'd seen each other. _7 years! Oh my, that means he's 32!_

Padme couldn't speak, so he spoke instead.

"Looks like Anakin was right; we would see each other again."

"Pardon?" Padme said, trying to hide herself from him best she could, at least her eyes anyways.

Obi-Wan chuckled, "You don't have to pretend anymore, it's alright." the sincerity in his voice made her feel safe. She brushed back the wig to see his face. He smiled, and he heart melted again.

"Seven years and you haven't changed a bit." he said.

She blushed. _Does that mean he still sees me as a child?_

"Neither have you...except for the hair." Padme said, realizing how silly that sounded.

Obi-Wan chuckled again, "Shall we go somewhere to sit and chat?"

"But what about Sabe and Dorme?"

"I swear we won't leave the club. Besides, you'll be with a responsible authority figure. What's going to happen?"

"True," Padme said, she couldn't help but smile now.

Obi-Wan the offered her his hand and he led her through the crowd to his table. They sat down facing each other.

"Now tell me Senator, what brings you out here this night?"

"Shh, nobody knows I'm here."

"Oh right," Obi-Wan covers his mouth in embarrassment.

"It's my birthday. Sabe and Dorme decided I need to get out," she informed him, deciding it was best to leave the number out.

"Oh I see, well Happy Birthday." he said, smiling.

She returned one. "Thank you."

He picked up his glass and took a swig of his drink. Padme watched as he chugged it down; his Adam's apple bobbing. She found it somewhat attractive. He caught her staring. He put down the glass.

"What's wrong?" he asked, breaking Padme from her trance.

"Oh...I was wondering why you are here as well."

"Oh right. I come here to be alone."

"Seems like the wrong place for that. Don't you have places at the Temple for that?"

He chuckled lightly. "Of course. I just come here when I need to get out."

"You can do that? I thought Jedi were bound to the Temple."

"Let's just say sometimes I need to get away."

"Sure...from the stresses of Anakin. He is still your padawan right?"

"Yes. I would bring him here with me if he were old enough, but then again he'd probably be getting into more trouble than he does now."

Padme chuckled. "You seem different Master Kenobi, tell me what it is."

Obi-Wan looked at her shyly. "That depends, is it good?"

"Surprisingly yes. You're so grown up now. It's been far too long."

"I must say the same for you as well Senator. It _has_ been far too long. It's a great pleasure to see you again, in here of all placed." he said, smiling, with those eyes she couldn't resist.

But she held her own and said, "No Master Kenobi, the pleasure is all mine."


	5. Chapter 5

Padme looked out the window in silence. Anakin was on his way home; she could feel it. She'd quickly disposed of the bed sheets that afternoon and replaced them with fresh ones. Scared Obi-Wan's scent was still there she tried to rid of it with scented candles and air fresheners. She just hoped Anakin's Jedi sense was so sensitive tonight. It was twilight and he would arrive any moment. The whir of the elevator rising reassured her that moment had come. When the doors opened she turned to see her husband. She went to greet him as usual.

"Sorry I'm late. Obi-Wan and I had lunch at Dex's, then we had a little saber practice, the younglings would not let us leave." he said, then kissed her cheek, his lips felt as though they were burning her cheek She was not impressed, neither was Anakin apparently.

"What's wrong? Aren't you happy to see me?"

Padme struggled to find her voice. "Of course. Why wouldn't I be?"

"I don't know. You just don't seem happy I'm here."

Padme decided the best way to hide her feelings was to play it up with him. Tell him what he wanted to hear and give him what he wanted.

She took hold of his hand, seizing control before he did.

"I am, Ani. I missed you," she said as lovingly as she could.

He kissed her lips tenderly. She didn't resist him now, though she wanted to.

"I missed you to. I love you." he said.

It was times like these that made her heart break. _Did he really mean it?_ Once he lost it with her those moments seemed so unreal, but when they did happen she'd try to forget his other side. Truth was, she just couldn't.

She wasn't sure when it happened, or why or how. It just did. Anakin was a jealous type; she'd known that. He was very...protective of Padme; perhaps too protective. It had been a rainy night in September. Padme had gone out for a Senator's banquet at the grand dining hall in downtown Coruscant. Of course Anakin could not go with her as her escort, so she went with Dorme. Completely harmless, until she ran into an old friend, well boyfriend actually.

Palo, the dark-haired, dreamy-eyed boy crush of her youth, was there as the guest of honor to show off his work since he was now a famous artist. Padme was overjoyed to see him. The two spent the night talking and dancing; and during one of the slow dances he kissed her. It was just one innocent kiss, but how was she to know it would cost her.

Anakin paced nervously back and forth in the apartment's sitting room. It was dark and she was late. He was more angry then worried. The elevator rose up to reveal his wife, soaked by the rain. Her evening gown was sagging and her hair was falling out of its fancy arrangement. She sighed in relief to be home. She smiled at the sight of Anakin. How she missed him.

"Where the hell have you been?! Do you have any idea what time it is?!" Anakin said harshly.

Padme's smile faded. "The banquet was tonight, remember? It's only 8:45."  
"Right, you said you'd be home when it was over; that was 7:30."

Padme's shoulders sunk down, "Sorry Ani, I ran into an old friend. We were catching up. He insisted we go out for drinks. I guess I lost track of time."

"Well, you shouldn't have. Wait...did you say he?" Anakin asked, his voice sharp and offensive.

Padme cringed. "Yes. Palo Verandi, the famous artist. We go way back. He was training to be in politics too. He was the guest of honor. His work is incredible. He's also a wonderful dancer; he studies ballet."

Anakin looked at her disgusted. "I was worried something happened to you."

"I'm fine. Palo and I just got so caught up talking that I forgot about the time."

"Don't you mean you forgot about me?"

"What?"

"Did you tell this Palo guy that you were married? Oh wait, you can't; your husband's a Jedi. So for one night why not pretend you're not married and flirt with an old beau." Anakin said, his eyes fixed hard on Padme's. He was now gripping her shoulders. She threw back her head. She couldn't look in those eyes.

"Answer me woman! Did you flirt with him? He kissed you didn't he?"

He was throwing out too many questions. Padme had tears in her eyes now. She knew better than to go against him. Her silence only made his grip on her shoulders tighten.

"Anakin stop, you're hurting me," she said. Her voice caught in her throat.

He then let go and pushed her to the floor.

"And you're hurting me," he said, his voice dark. He then walked away, leaving her there.

That was the first time Padme had seen this side of him; but certainly not the last. The monster in him was waking up and it was hungry. That one mistake had sparked its appetite and now the hunger lived on.

Padme lay awake in the dark as Anakin slept beside her; his arm slung over her waist so she couldn't move, and his hot breath on her neck. She used to enjoy these things, now they just made her tense. She felt like a prisoner in her own home, suffocating. She'd made so many mistakes.

That night here with Obi-Wan was still fresh in her mind. The way he had held her, it was so much gentler than Anakin. His hands were soft and his embrace warm. _Why did I give in?_ she thought, _I know I can't have this._ She couldn't help that her feelings for Obi-Wan were returning. The truth was that they never left. Even when she told him she didn't love him anymore because she fell for Anakin. Part of her still belonged to Obi-Wan and she wanted that piece back so she could feel whole again. She was relieved Anakin had not said anything about Obi-Wan...yet anyways. There were many tomorrows coming her way. Ones she would have to face alone. She knew she had not seen the last of Master Kenobi. She just hoped he was mindful of all they were putting at risk.

 _The next part of the story is a flashback. I thought I would inform you because it may be confusing if I didn't._

Obi-Wan had noticed a change in her. She no longer greeted him in a warm embrace and tender kiss. In fact, she didn't touch him at all anymore. He was sure she had a logical reason for why she was unlike herself. And he wanted to know why. She radiated beauty as she sat beside him on the couch. He sensed she was nervous and tasted her fear as well. He cautiously touched her arm. She flinched so he took his hand back immediately.

He cleared his throat, "Are you alright? I've noticed a sudden change in you."

Padme tightened her lip. Obi-Wan saw this action and his eyes turned sad.

"Whatever it is you know you can tell me," he said worriedly.

"I can't." Padme said softly. She then got up and walked towards the window. Obi-wan waited a few moments before he was by her side. In the corners of her eyes he saw tears form. He felt the need to hold her and comfort her. He took Padme's face in his hands. She didn't react and she allowed him to do it, though the tears were spilling over on to his hands now.

"Please," he begged, as he smoothed the creases under Padme's wet eyes, rubbing her tears away. "What is it darling? Something's wrong. I've been sensing it for weeks now. Tell me the truth."

Padme sucked in her breath to stop her sobs from escaping. Her heart was breaking. It had been torn in two, and Obi-Wan's half shattered; crushed by the first of her new found love.

"The truth..., she began. She felt her voice failing her. She couldn't do this. She couldn't stand to tell him what she'd done to him. She broke away from Obi-Wan's hands and tried to walk away but he wouldn't let her. He grabbed her hand; it was cold compared to his own, so small and delicate it was. And now she was hurt and he didn't know why.

"Please, I need to know," he said. Padme looked into his eyes. He still had that same strength in them. She hated the thought of truth crumbling it. His plead was sincere, and he was right; he needed to know. And she brought it upon herself to tell him.

She sighed. "The truth is...I", she said, feeling her bottom lip quiver against her teeth. "I don't love you anymore."

Obi-Wan didn't respond right away. His voice was caught in his throat. It felt as though his heart had been stabbed with his lightsaber. But he couldn't stand there and let her words stab him like they did. He was Obi-Wan Kenobi. And she was Padme Amidala, the woman he gave his heart to, but now she threw it back at him; shattering it. And now he had to pick up the pieces.

"What?" was all he could manage to say. More tears fell from her eyes. But her previous words kept him from wiping them away from her red face. She looked so fragile. Obi-Wan wanted nothing more than to hold her now and kiss away the pain. The urge grew more as they stood there looking at each other. Lost for words, Obi-Wan tried to hide it deep inside, but he couldn't. He threw himself into Padme's face. Kissing her lips hard, to decontaminate them of those awful words. He felt their poison on his own when they didn't react to him. Their cheeks smothered together as he tried harder. He then took hold of them and went in deeper but he felt he was suffocating her so he drew back; her face still in his hands. She looked into his eyes; he seemed to be begging for hope, the one time she didn't have it for him.

"No," she answered softly, shaking her heads in his hands. They were slick from her tears. She had nothing else to give him; except the hurt she saw in his eyes.

"I'm sorry Obi-Wan," she said, touching his face, stroking his beard. His reaction to that surprised her; he let go of her face and swatted her hand away.

"No, I'm sorry. Thank you for telling me what I need to know. Now I know why love is not part of Jedi protocol." he said, trying to stay strong. He put more distance between himself and Padme. He then bowed, "I must go. Goodbye Senator Amidala." he said, his voice on the edge of cracking. She watched him leave; taking her broken heart with him.

Anakin awoke to being alone in the bed. By the sound of running water he concluded Padme was in the shower. He pulled the covers off of him and stretched. He sat up and took a deep breath. Something then went off in his mind. A trace, a scent, a presence lingered in the air. He closed his eyes to concentrate, he breathed in again. Then it came to him. Obi-Wan! He was sure of it.

 _What in blazes was Obi-Wan doing her? Why didn't I sense it last night?_ Anakin thought. Padme! Padme would know. But why wouldn't she tell him, or why wouldn't Obi-Wan tell him of his visit to the Senator? He knew about them already.

Anakin could feel something already building up inside of him. He couldn't wait for answers, he needed them now. So he got up and stormed in to the bathroom. Not even bothering to know, he burst in the door. Padme was in the shower washing her hair when she was startled by Anakin's unexpected entrance. She fell back against the wall, shielding herself from him, though there was a glass door between them.

"Anakin!" she cried out, "Uh- What are you doing?"

He put his hand on the door and yanked it open.

"We need to talk," he said in a low voice. She saw anger in his eyes.

 _Oh no,_ Padme thought, _he know. Some way he found out and he knows!_

"Now's not a good time. Can't we-"

"Now's the perfect time," he said, shutting off the water. He grabbed her arm and yanked her out. He then picked up a towel and shoved it in her face. She scurried quickly to wrap it around her. Anakin then took hold of her arm, tighter than before, and pulled her back into the bedroom. He threw her on the bed; she landed with a thud. She didn't want to look at him, so she covered her eyes in her hands; trying to hold back her tears.

"Now do you care to tell me what's going on?" Anakin asked.

Padme trembled and hesitated. _If I don't tell him he'll just have more reason to hurt me. But I can't tell him the truth. Make something up Padme, you're smart._ But before she could say anything, Anakin grabbed her hair and pulled her up.

"Answer me goddamn it!" he yelled, his voice was loud in her ear. "Why was Master Kenobi here?!"

Padme trembled more as Anakin spat out his name. He gripped her hair tighter, straining the strands in pain. She couldn't find her voice to speak.

"So you're not gonna tell me," he said, he then let go of her hair. Padme fell to the floor.

"I guess I'll just have to talk to Obi-Wan myself." he finished.

Padme lifted up her head. _Obi-Wan! No!_ She had to do something to protect him.

"No wait, Anakin." she said, her voice quiet, but he heard.

"Oh, so now you want to talk." Anakin said. He stooped down to grab her arm and pull her up. Padme frantically clutched her towel around her. He pushed her back hard against the wall. "Start talking'!" he spat.

Padme didn't have time or the courage to think of a good lie so she'd just have to make it up as she went along.

"Well Anakin," she cleared her throat, "You know Master Kenobi and I have been friends for a long time."

"Yes, and you know I don't feel comfortable about it," he said.

"Yes, but we've been friends for such a long time, it would be a shame to end it now. Master Kenobi is-" she never did get to finish that sentence.

Anakin had slapped her across the face, his palm hard against her cheek. She stumbled over from the blow, he cheek throbbing. She touched it lightly, trying to hold back those same tears, only now it was harder. She was too scared to respond to him.

"Master Kenobi is no longer welcome here. Now I've got to go, but I'm going to talk to Obi-Wan, maybe get some answers. As for you Padme, I'd just best think about what hasn't been said. I'll be home around 6. You'd best be here."

"Yes Anakin," she said, whimpering like a child. He made a disgusted face at her then walked away. As soon as she knew he was gone Padme ran back into the bathroom, never wanting to come out again.


	6. Chapter 6

Obi-Wan was in the meditating chambers trying to relax. He'd sensed a disturbance and was trying to get in touch, so far no luck. Then he felt someone else enter the room. _Anakin! Oh no, this doesn't look good,_ he thought.

"I thought I'd find you hear Master," Anakin said, teasing his former Master.

"Yes. Is there something wrong?" Obi-Wan asked

"I need to discuss something with you...in private."

"We are in private. Have a seat and we can...discuss whatever it is that's troubling you."  
Anakin took a seat next to Obi-Wan.

"This has to deal with someone I'm not allowed to mention here," Anakin said.

Obi-Wan knew what he was talking about as soon as he saw Anakin, but he decided to play dumb, for her sake.

"I'm not sure I understand." Obi-Wan said.

Anakin groaned, "You know...my secret...Senator Amidala." his voice lowered as he spoke her name.

"Oh yes, right. What about her?"

"Have you been to see her recently? I know you two have been friends for a long time and I swore I felt your presence there."

Obi-Wan managed to keep a straight face and hide his fear well.

"Hmm...No, I haven't seen the Senator in such a long time, but I've been meaning to ask you if I could. After all she is...well you know."

"Of course, but I don't feel comfortable with you visiting her."

Obi-Wan gave Anakin a false puzzled look.

"Why not? We're just friends."

"Yes, but I know of your past. I don't think it's a good idea."

"Suit yourself." Obi-Wan said casually, going back to meditating; trying to concentrate on the disturbance he still felt. It was stronger now that Anakin was here, but he got up to leave. Obi-Wan had an idea.

"Anakin,"

"Yes,"

"You are staying at the Temple tonight right?"

"No, actually I was going to go home."

"Why not stay here? You don't spend enough time here."

"I'm here every day."

"Yes Anakin, but nights too. Your bed hasn't been used in weeks. You don't want to cause any suspicion."

Obi-Wan froze, he hoped that was a good enough reason to get Anakin to stay.

"I suppose you may be right, but I have to go home first."

"No, you'll be fine. Why don't you and I go out for a drink?"

"Now?"

"Sure."

"Um...ok"

Obi-Wan smiled. His plan was actually working. Now he just had to figure out a way to sneak out to see Padme later on that night without Anakin knowing or finding out.

Padme was too upset to go into her office today so she just stayed home. She spent the first few hours in the bathroom crying. How could she let this happen? She knew he'd find out, how could she have been so careless?! It would be a matter of hour before he was back here again, beating her up for it. She shook at the thought. Then there was a knock at the door. Padme jumped.

"Padme," a female voice said, "Padme, are you in there? It's Sabe."

Padme sighed. Sabe! She needed a friend; someone to be her shoulder to cry on.

"It's open," Padme said hoarsely from crying all morning. Sabe then entered to see Padme, still in here in towel, on the floor. Her hair was a mess of dampness, her face red, and her eyes wide full of tears. Sabe was by her friend's side immediately.

"Padme! Oh my stars, what happened?!"

"Anakin...he...he...," Padme couldn't finish. She threw her face into Sabe; who comforted her tenderly.

"Shh...It's ok now," Sabe said softly, stroking Padme's matted hair.

"Oh Sabe, if only it was. I can't take it anymore." Padme said.

Sabe didn't know what to say to Padme. She knew of Anakin's ways, but could only offer comfort to her afterwards.

"How bad was it this time?" Sabe asked.

"Well, first her pulled me out of my shower and took me to the bedroom and threw me on the bed, then pulled my hair, then dropped me on the floor, then pulled me up and pushed me against the wall. Then he slapped my face and I fell to the floor. After that he left and I've been in here ever since."

Sabe's face was horrified, "When is he coming back?"

"Six. But he's talking with Obi-Wan as well. Do you think he'd hurt him too?"  
"No, and I'm sure Master Kenobi won't let him hurt you either." Sabe said. Padme had told her and Dorme the whole story about Obi-Wan coming back.

"But he doesn't know."

"What do you mean? You didn't tell him about Anakin?"

"No, that would cause even more trouble between the two of them, and it's all because of me."

"Padme, if Obi-Wan loves you still as much as he did before I know he would do everything he could to protect you. You have to tell him. We can't stand you see you live like this."

"But-"

"No buts. One day for no apparent reason Anakin could go over the top and seriously hurt you, maybe even worse. Please tell Master Kenobi next time you see him."

"But I don't know when that will be. Anakin forbids him coming here, he'll know."

"You really think that'll stop him. Wasn't Obi-Wan Anakin's Master?"

"Yes."

"Then I don't think that's a problem. Anakin isn't a threat to him, and he shouldn't be one to you either." Sabe said, trying to encourage Padme, but it wasn't working.

"I hope you're right. Master Kenobi is my only hope."

"So you're gonna tell him?"

"It seems like it's the best way to solve this problem."

"Good. Now, let's get you cleaned up. You look awful." Sabe said, helping Padme up.

"Ah!" Padme cried, clutching her thigh in pain.

"What's wrong?" Sabe asked, looking down at where Padme was holding. Padme moved her hand and Sabe gasped in horror.

"What?!" Padme asked, unable to see what had frightened her friend.

"Your thigh; there's a huge bruise on it. It's purple. How long has it been there?"

"I don't know, a few days. I don't want to talk about it."

"Padme, you're going to have to. This is violence and abuse towards you. You have to do something. I know you're scared but this is serious."

"I know! There's nothing I can do. I'll tell Master Kenobi."

"You promise?"

"Yes."  
"Good, now let's get you cleaned up. I'll stay here as long as I can."

Padme then hugged Sabe. "Thanks Sabe. You're one of the few people I can count on."

"Of course. I've been with you too long to stop caring now."

That actually brought a smile to Padme's face; a real smile. She hadn't had one of those in such a long time. She'd forgotten how kindness felt. Maybe she could turn things around after all.

Obi-Wan sipped his drink but Anakin had hardly touched his.

"What troubles you Anakin?"

"You always think something is bothering me." Anakin said offensively.

"Well, most of time there is."

"You expect me to share everything with you don't you?"

"Well, most of the time you do." Obi-Wan said casually.

"Well, this time I'm not."

"Well, that's not good."

"On whose part, yours or mine?"

"Both."

"Look, can we change the subject?"

"Certainly."

Anakin looked around the bar. It was mostly empty.

"Why are we even here? It's only 4'o'clock. Only you would go out drinking at unusual times."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Obi-Wan asked curiously.

"I'm not stupid Master," Anakin said, then sighed sadly. "This is where you would go, sneak off late at night and come back early mornings."

"I have never doubted your intelligence Anakin."

"Then why would you keep it a secret? I told you mine."

"Actually she told me."

"Yeah, and I still have to get her for it."

Obi-Wan chuckled. He was glad he and Anakin were still able to bond like this, despite the fact everything going on around them. It was best to be on Anakin's good side, so this was good. He just hoped Padme was alright.

Obi-Wan smiled as the elevator rose up to his love's apartment. Though it was late and he didn't tell her he was coming, he had to see her. She was probably already asleep, but he didn't care. Just taking in her presence as he exited the elevator was enough to warm him. He walked into the sitting room. There, sleeping innocently on the couch, was Padme. Obi-Wan's heart beat softly in his ears as he watched her sleep. She was so beautiful. He went to her side and stooped down. He touched her hand softly. He tucked back her hair. This small action must have been enough to wake her because her eyes opened.

"Ah!" Padme shrieked as she sat up. She was most surprised to see him.

"Sorry," Obi-Wan said, followed by a chuckle.

"Obi-Wan! What are you doing here? You shouldn't be here. Anakin-"

"Shh, it's alright. Anakin is asleep at the Temple." he told her.

"Yes, but you shouldn't be here."

"Does that mean you're not happy to see me?"  
"Of course I'm happy to see you. I just wasn't expecting you."

"Well I had to see you again. I missed you."

Padme sighed. He was sounding just like Anakin now. He sat down beside here on the couch.

"How did you get Anakin to stay? He..." she stopped, trying to think of a way to phrase it. "He was set on coming home tonight."

"Well we went out for drinks, had a long chat and I convinced him to stay."

"Oh, well how did you sneak out?"

"Same way I always have. But it doesn't matter; the important thing is that I'm here." he said, taking hold of her hand. She didn't pull back but he knew something was wrong.

"Are you alright?" he asked concerned, trying to look in her eyes but she turned her head.

"I still don't feel right about this Obi-Wan. It's so much to handle right now."

"Then I will wait for you."

"Wait? What are you talking about?"

"We've waited seven years to confess our love to one another. I think I can wait."

"Wait...wait for what?"

"For you to leave Anakin of course." Obi-Wan said with a smile.

"I can't leave Anakin." Padme said, surprised by her own response.

"Why not? You said so yourself you don't love him. And every time I bring you up in one of our conversations he gets angry and changes the subject."

"It's complicated."

"Things can't possibly get any more complicated than they are now. Just tell me why you won't leave him."

"I can't Obi-Wan, I just can't!" Padme said, louder than she intended to.

Though she had promised herself she wouldn't get him involved, it all had changed this afternoon when she promised Sabe she'd get him to help her, but she couldn't. Bringing him into this put his life in danger as well, and she didn't want that. She had to turn him away, not just for tonight but forever.

"Please, tell me what's wrong. Maybe I could help." he pleaded. His eyes fixed on her and his hand tight on hers.

 _Oh, you don't know how bad I want your help, but I can't accept it,_ she thought.

With his other hand he reached up and brushed back her hair and tucked in behind her ear.

His hand rested on her cheek for just a moment. It felt good there. She blinked back her tears, but one slipped. He noticed.

"Oh my dear, don't cry." Obi-Wan said, gently wiping her tears with the sleeve of his robe. He took her in an embrace and comforted her. He kissed her forehead. She looked so helpless, so fragile. Something was truly wrong and he had no way of finding out what it was. She clearly wasn't going to tell him, and neither was Anakin.

"Obi-Wan." Padme spoke through her tears. Her voice sounded like a frightened child's.

"Yes Padme."

"Would you please stay tonight?"

"Of course I will." he said happily.

Padme then kissed his tender lips hard. She needed to taste him; he was her escape from her harsh reality. She would put off telling him the truth as long as she could.

They would get through the night together, but face the day alone.


	7. Chapter 7

Once again Obi-Wan let love get the best of him. He and Padme had spent another beautiful night together. Just being in that familiar place had soothed him. Being there with her, holding her in his hands, his lips brushing against her velvety skin, hers calling out his name in a faint whisper that was almost drowned out by her remarks of satisfaction. Her nails dug into his skin as he entered her but it was the best pain he'd ever felt. He'd give anything to keep her there, but he knew it would have to end. It was the best night of his life and he didn't know if he'd get another chance to experience another night like it again; so for the sake of her happiness he gave himself to her, and she accepted him with her own burning passion.

Obi-Wan opened his eyes again. It was barely dawn and light crept into the room. He looked over to see Padme sleeping, for once she looked peaceful. Her back was facing him as she slept, the sheet wrapped loosely on one side. Obi-Wan put his palm on her back and rubbed it gently, pulling back the sheet but what he saw made him gasp. There on Padme's hips and lower back were big purple bruises. His action didn't cause her to wake up but now Obi-Wan was debating whether to wake her up himself. This was serious. How did they get there? Were they his fault? Was he not as gentle as he thought he'd been? With all these question going through his mind Obi-Wan didn't notice Padme looking at him.

"Obi-Wan, are you alright?" she asked.

"I'm fine. But what about you? You're not hurt are you?" he asked, leaning towards her face.

"No, I'm-" she stopped because he was looking at her with sad eyes, like he knew something she didn't.

"Are you sure you're ok?" he asked again, looking deeper into her eyes. She had a feeling inside that told her he'd found something out. She felt the urge to cry coming on again so she had to get away.

"Excuse me for a moment." Padme said, getting up and wrapping the sheet around her exposed body, but he could still see the marks. They looked worse than he thought. He had to find out how they got there.

"Padme wait." Obi-Wan said, getting up to go after her, slipping on his boxers as he followed her to the bathroom. She ignored his call and went into the bathroom, shutting the door in his face. She didn't bother to lock it but he felt like he should respect her privacy; but at the same time something was going on and he needed to know. He could hear her sobs from inside the bathroom.

"Padme please, we need to talk." Obi-Wan said.

"Go away Obi-Wan!" she shouted.

"We...We're going to have to talk about this some time." he said.

"We don't have anything to talk about!"

"I saw them Padme!"

Padme took her head out of her hands. She knew what he was talking about and he was right; they would have to talk about it now. She couldn't hide herself any longer. It was getting more difficult, maybe just telling him the truth now would make it easier. He knew something was up.

Obi-Wan stood outside the door, patiently waiting for Padme to open it. A few moments later it finally did, but only enough so he saw her face.

"What?" she muttered.

"I...I saw the marks Padme." Obi-Wan said hoarsely.

Her eyes looked downward.

"Can I come in?" he asked her.

She didn't answer, she couldn't answer. All she wanted was for him to hold her; hold her in his arms and keep her safe, protect her from the horror she was bringing upon herself. He too would suffer if he knew the truth. She felt hot tears stream down her cheeks. Obi-Wan took her face in his hands.

"Oh darling, whatever it is you know you can tell me anything. I love you. I want to help you." he begged. In his beautiful eyes she saw how much he did care and wanted to help. Why did she ever let him go? He was so beautiful and now he was back with her, but she could never truly take him back. She told Obi-Wan she had no regrets, but that was a lie. She had one that ate at her heart every day.

It was the day she fell in love with Anakin Skywalker.

It seemed so long ago and they seemed like different people, which was true. The Anakin Padme fell in love with was gentle, passionate, and sweet; not the monster he'd come to be. It had only been a few short years but they had changed dramatically. She remembered back to when she didn't have to be afraid and she didn't have to hide, but it seemed so far away now; out of her reach. She'd never be able to have it with Anakin again. But Obi-Wan was the right one. He showed her love and care, the things she yearned for in her darkest hours; ones she never wanted to relive again.

But if Anakin knew of this, he'd truly inflict the darkness back over her again; nothing stopped him from doing it before. She didn't have a voice with him. He overruled her in every possible way and made her so vulnerable she'd let him continue his heinous crimes, straight on into the night. Just recalling those nights brought a strong sense of fear into her heart. She let Obi-Wan do it to her as well, but he was different. Obi-Wan was gentle and kind, but more importantly, it felt he had purpose, He loved her. She could feel it deep inside her that he loved her, and she loved him. In the moment that feeling would overpower that dark fear, but when it was over the fear would rush back in, even worse than before. And now she not only feared for her own life, but his as well.

And now sensing that fear Obi-Wan Kenobi spoke four words. Just four little words that seemed to take Padme's ability to answer them.

" _Tell me what happened."_

It was done then, he'd asked, more like commanded. But he was gentle and his guard was down.

And with that she took a breath, and Padme Amidala told her story.

Obi-Wan saw the horror in her eyes as Padme recollected on her life; it was more like a fiendish nightmare, but she was true to her words. From the beginning he knew it would be tough on her, as bad revisiting the time it happened in a memory. She struggled to get the words out, and they burned his ears; words like "hurt" and "rape" melted his heart to ash. But since he was Obi-Wan Kenobi he had to mold it back together and stay strong, for her sakes. She needed him and he was there; he'd always been there. He could have stopped this. Obi-Wan felt the trust in him boil until it evaporated, leaving him feeling dry. He held her tight as she dug her face into his chest; her sobs filling the air around them on the floor of the bathroom. It felt more dense and heavier than usual, or maybe it was all the emotion in the room. Padme had certainly reached her brink.

"Shh," Obi-Wan hushed as he rubbed her back, "It'll be alright." he said, trying so hard himself to believe what he was telling her.

"No it won't! Don't you see Obi-Wan, he knows! He'll come after us!"

Obi-Wan swallowed. "No he won't. I won't let him hurt you."

"How? You're gonna have to leave and once you're again then..." her voice faded. She didn't have the strength to go on.

Obi-Wan rubbed her head softly.

"I won't leave. We'll face him together." he said.

Padme lifted her head upward and looked into his eyes.

"No, we can't. You...We have to end it, while we're still safe."

"Safe?! Padme, I can't stand down and let him do this to you. If I would have known sooner-"

"If you would have known sooner things would be worse," she spoke sadly, lowering her head back down on him. He wrapped his arms around her shoulders. She closed her eyes, because in his embrace she felt safe.

"I have to talk to Anakin about this." Obi-Wan said softly.

"What?! No! Obi-Wan, you can't! He only has suspicions. If you ask him he'll know something going on between us."

"But there is something going on! I love you and I can't stand aside and let him hurt you. Why did you put up with it for so long?"

Padme sighed. She was hoping to avoid that question, though it was one that she asked herself every day. She didn't want to answer because she didn't have one. Obi-Wan stared at her with worried eyes. She knew he wanted that answer she would try her best to explain.

"I...I don't know exactly," she sighed again. "It's...complicated. I guess I'm more scared of life without him."

It was Obi-Wan's turn to sigh. "There's no need to be. I'll never leave you again. Just let me talk to Anakin, please."

"No!" Padme cried as she threw her arms around Obi-Wan's neck and put her face to his. Tears now fell from her eyes onto their cheeks. "I can't lose you again! I tried to push you away but I just can't. I need you Obi-Wan! Please don't say anything to Anakin!"

"Then how do I solve this problem?" he asked puzzled.

"I don't know, but promise me we'll face it together." Padme said, squeezing his face.

He kissed her lips, "Anything darling," he said, then kissed her again. "I love you."

She let Obi-Wan take her and cradle her in his arms as they kissed.

 _This is where I belong,_ Padme thought. Now what were they to do about Anakin?

Obi-Wan had returned to the Temple later that afternoon. When he left Padme he had feelings of hope and joy, but as he sat now in the Room of A Thousand Fountains they were crushed. He had promised Padme he wouldn't say anything to Padme, but the thought of ignoring her pain only gave him pain of his own. Anakin had been his student, his best friend. But their relationship had gone under change since he had married Padme. Obi-Wan had never forgiven Anakin for that. He said he had known of his past with Padme. Ha! Anakin was naïve, and dare Obi-Wan think it, stupid!

It was unusual and against the Code for Jedi to hold grudges, but Obi-Wan had one over Anakin, or maybe it was hidden jealousy. Was there a reason to be jealous of Anakin? Yes, it was true. He'd been secretly jealous of Anakin's relationship with Padme, the woman he once and always loved. But knowing this awful truth now, jealousy seemed so pity, so wrong. Anakin didn't love her, he probably never loved her. And yet Obi-Wan had been so open to the fact to take Padme back. Doing so he'd discovered his own weakness. Revenge was not the Jedi way, and seeking it for someone who didn't want it was just as wrong. But what was he to do, stand down and just let Anakin hurt Padme? Suppose he go too far and...

Obi-Wan shut his eyes and cringed from his own thought, too menacing to complete. He tried to focus on something else; back when things were easier, when he didn't have to worry about betrayal, lies or secrets between the woman he loved and his best friend.


	8. Chapter 8

_Flashback_

Padme stood anxiously on the veranda waiting for him, even if it was dark out, she waited. He had promised he would come, like he did almost every night. When the familiar speeder pulled up Padme smiled with joy. She couldn't help but run out to greet him. When he was out and saw her coming he scooped her up in his arms and twirled her around. Then he held her close and kissed her, completely oblivious to the city buzzing all around them. They didn't care, all they saw was each other.

"I was so worried you wouldn't come tonight." Padme said.

"Nonsense, you would know if I wasn't." Obi-Wan teased, kissing her lips once more.

"True," Padme replied, touching his chest playfully.

"How about we go inside? I don't want you to catch a cold." Obi-Wan said sweetly.

"Of course Master Kenobi."

"Padme, we've been courting for almost a year, I've told you to dispense the formality."

"I know. I just like calling you that. Now let's go inside." Padme said, taking his hand, but he didn't move.

"Allow me," he said, slipping his hand on Padme's underside and lifting her into his arms.

Padme shrieked then giggled with surprise.

"You're so full of surprises." she said.

"At least it'll never get boring."

"True," Padme then gave him another kiss. Not being able to let go of one another, they continued to

kiss as Obi-Wan carried her inside. He carried her to the apartment's main living room. Still locking lips, he placed her on the couch and she pulled him down on her. He struggled to reclaim his lips from her so he could speak, more so his own weakness than hers.

"As much as I enjoy this..." he sighed as Padme kissed his neck, "this, uh...this isn't all I came for."

"Sorry Obi-Wan, the bedroom is off limits for tonight. I've gone through too many sheets this week." Padme teased as she ruffled his hair.

Obi-Wan chuckled in embarrassment, "That's not what I meant."

"Oh, well, here is fine too. The couch is rarely used. We could-"

"Padme please, this is serious."

She looked in his eyes and touched his cheek. "And you think I'm not,"

Her expression was sly. Obi-Wan blinked.

"Look, maybe if I just do it now maybe you'll understand."

He then got off of her and stood in front of her. He looked nervous.

"I'm not sure I do," she said, sitting up.

Obi-Wan reached his hand into his pocket and pulled out a small box. Padme's eyes widened.

 _Oh my stars!_ Obi-Wan took her hand and knelt down in front of her.

"Padme...will you marry me?" he spoke, his voice light and sweet.

On her finger he placed a ring. Padme felt a smile stretch across her lips and he heart leap from her chest. What was she to say? Obi-Wan could never get married! He was a Jedi, or still was he? She felt her mouth open but no words came out.

"Please, say something." Obi-Wan said, moving to sit beside her, still holding her hand.

"I don't know if I can." she said.

"You don't know if you can marry me or you don't know if you can say something?"

"Both. This is...this is crazy. You can't get married, you're a Jedi."

"I don't have to be. I'll withdraw from the Order."

"Obi-Wan, you mustn't do that. They're all you have."

Obi-Wan touched the cheek of her worried face, "Yes, but you are all I want."

No matter how wonderful that made her feel she still had to put him first. She wouldn't let him give everything up for her.

"Why are you doing this?"

"Why else? I love you."

"Yes, but we talked about this. Marriage is impossible."

"Nothing is impossible Padme. Besides, I think we've exceeded it already by falling in love. Do you not want to go further on?"

"No, it's not that at all. It's just...I don't want you to throw your future away for me."

"What future," Obi-Wan said in disgust, rolling his eyes.

"The Jedi. You're so close to becoming a Master. And what about Anakin? Who else will guide him down the right path?"

"He'll get a new Master. He doesn't need me."

"It's not just that. He does need you. I know of the pain you two have shared since Naboo. You rely on each other to get through the day, don't take that away from him. But more importantly, don't take it away from yourself."

"I'm not losing anything. I don't need those things. I need you! I've found my purpose in life. My destiny is to be with you, not waste away in a life I don't want. Please Padme, be my wife. We won't have to sneak around anymore, we won't have to be alone...we can finally have a child. Don't you want that?"

Padme sighed sadly, "It all sounds so wonderful Obi, but I wouldn't be able to live with myself if you left the Order. Your destiny is to become a great Jedi. That Obi-Wan is your purpose in life, not me." she then touched his hand, in his palm she placed the ring. Obi-Wan looked at it for a second then back at Padme. He then took it and put it back on her finger.

"Keep it," he muttered softly. Padme looked at hi wide-eyed.

"As a promise of my undying love for you," he added, then kissed her forehead.

"Obi...I love you," Padme whispered softly as she laid her head on his shoulder. He stroked her hair softly as she settled into her favorite place to fall asleep. She'd stick to her word but there was nothing wrong with this. _This_ was beautiful. They didn't need rings or ceremonies to show ownership. Her heart, now and forever, belonged to Master Kenobi.

Padme had decided to tidy up the apartment a bit before Anakin was due home. Maybe it would impress him to see a clean house, or her actually doing something for him for once. She was organizing the closet when Sabe came in with a box.

"Hey Padme, what's this?"

Padme immediately stopped what she was doing and stared at the chest Sabe was holding with wide eyes.

"Padme, are you ok?"

"Where did you find that?"

"Under the bed. It was really dusty. What is it?"

Padme took the box from Sabe, trying her best not to drop it from her state of shock. She then walked back out in to the bedroom; Sabe followed her. Padme sat on the bed and placed the chest in her lap.

"Padme, please, what's wrong? What is that?"

"It's my treasure chest. I thought I left it back on Naboo with my parents. I took it there with me and I promised myself I would leave it there in the safety of my room."

"Safety? What are you talking about? What's in there?"

"My treasures. No one else has seen them."

"Can I see them?" Sabe asked eagerly.

"I haven't opened it in years. It'll be like a stroll down memory lane."

"Happy ones I hope."

"Well...yeah...but bittersweet." Padme said sadly.

"Padme, if it's too much we don't-"

"I'm fine. It's been in the dark too long to turn back now."

Padme then blew off some more dust and lifted up the latch on the wooden box. It creaked as she lifted up the lid. Her heart beat fast and her palms grew sweaty as she looked down in it.

S _o many memories where to begin,_ she thought. The first thing that caught her eye was a piece of paper. It was black and white with a fuzzy shape on it. She picked it up delicately.

"Oh my god," she gasped, staring wide-eyed at it.

"What? What is it?" Sabe asked.

Padme was too stunned to answer. Paralyzed by shock, she didn't remember keeping this.

 _I didn't think I still held onto this…_

A tear fell down her cheek. She then put the stick down. Sabe picked it up to look, then gasped.

"Oh my stars Padme, when were you pregnant?"

Padme fought back the tears. "3 years ago." her voice was shaky.

"And...Who was the father?"

"Obi-Wan," she managed to pipe out, before crying some more.

"How long did it last?"

"6 weeks."

"Padme, I'm so sorry." Sabe said, hugging Padme tightly.

"It's alright. We did the right thing. I...I don't regret it. I shouldn't regret it. I can't imagine what life would be like if I was pregnant again."

"But who would be the father, Anakin or Obi-Wan?"

"Neither of them! I don't know which one I'd be more afraid of."

"Oh..." Sabe said, looking in the box to change the subject. She came across what looked to be a necklace. "What's this?" she asked curiously pointing at the bunched up gold chain. Padme picked it up and dangled it; hanging on it was a ring. Sabe touched the ring gently.

"It's beautiful. Padme, why don't you wear this?"

"I can't."  
"How come?"

"Because...Obi-Wan gave me this ring...when he asked me to marry him."

Sabe's mouth fell open. "What?! You have kept so many secrets from me! Why didn't you marry him?! He loves you, and you could have avoided this whole mess with Anakin."

"I know, I know! I chose not to marry him because I didn't want him to give up his life."

"Then what happened with Anakin?"

"I can't explain what happened there, it just did. And..." Padme felt her lip quiver, "I regret it so much." she managed to say before covering her face to cry.

"Oh Padme, I'm so sorry." Sabe said, then wrapped her arms around Padme again.

"Thank you for finding this Sabe, thank you." Padme said sincerely.

"You're welcome, but what are you going to do with it?"

Padme paused to think. "I want you to take it."

"Me? But why?"

"Because I can't keep it here. If Anakin found it...well...I don't even want to think about that. But please Sabe, take it. Hide it away some place safe. No one else must know about this."

"But what about Dorme?"

Padme hesitated, "Fine, you can her...but no one else! These things must never see the light of day ever again, do you understand?"

"Yes, completely. I'm sorry this is all so hard, but I promise to help in any way I can."  
"Thanks Sabe."

"You're most welcome. I promise you we're going to get you out of this mess."

"Oh if only we could." Padme said sadly. Again Sabe hugged her friend.

"Everything will be alright. Don't talk like that." Sabe said, stroking Padme's shoulder gently.

"Alright. Maybe, just maybe, we can."

"There, that's right."

It was hard for Padme to actually believe what they were saying. She knew things would get worse before they got better. Now she found she had no faith and just said that to make Sabe happy. She knew she was treading on thin ice, and it only time would tell when it cracked beneath her. It was only a matter of time before she fell in and eventually drowned, but who would be the one to rescue her? She prayed to God in Heaven that it would be Obi-Wan.

Obi-Wan felt the deepest urge to confront Anakin. He needed to talk to him about all this. Of course he believed Padme, but at the same time he was in denial. Anakin had been his best friend. What happened? Ever since he lost Padme to him there had been distance between them. What was he to do? He had to talk to Anakin! Obi-Wan was clever, maybe he could talk to Anakin about it, but indirectly.

Obi-Wan roamed the Temple search of Anakin, but couldn't find him. Maybe someone had seen him. At that moment one of the younger padawans was passing him.

"Excuse me young one, have you seen Master Skywalker today?" he asked.

"Yes Master Kenobi. He was in the Archive Library, but I'm afraid that was a few hours ago."

"Do you know where he is now?"

"No, but you could check his sleeping quarters."

"Right. Thank you for your help."

"Any time Master Kenobi," the youngling said, bowed, and then walked on.

Obi-Wan speed walked all the way to the living quarters. Anakin's room was right down the hall from his own. The light on the panel indicated he was in, but it was locked.

 _Do I really want to do this?_ Obi-Wan thought. Then the thought of Anakin going home to Padme entered his mind. He had to keep Anakin here as long as he could. _Maybe I shouldn't bring it up then. Maybe some casual talk would be better._

Suddenly the door opened in front of Obi-Wan and there stood Anakin. He jumped back in surprise, putting his hand over his heart.

"Ah! Master, I didn't know you were there," Anakin said, catching his breath.

Obi-Wan chuckled to play along, "Sorry Anakin."

"How long have you been standing there?" Anakin asked curiously.

"Just for a few moments. I need to talk to you."

"Can it wait 'til later? I'm about to leave."

"I'm afraid it cannot." Obi-Wan said sadly.

Anakin frowned at him, then sighed. "How long will it take?"

"Not long, I promise." Obi-Wan said optimistically.

"Alright, if you insist." Anakin said, then gestured Obi-Wan to follow him back into his room. The door shut behind him as he entered Anakin's room. It was quite a mess! Clothes were everywhere! Odds and ends to who knows what! A model of a Naboo Starfighter, which Anakin had accidentally flown as a kid during the Battle of Naboo lay on the nightstand. Obi-Wan took in a breath. The room had an awful stench to it; he recognized the smell, though he couldn't place what it was at that moment. Anakin sat down on his bed, which was untidy with its blanket thrown aside and pillows wrinkled. He unhooked his lightsaber and held it in his hand for a moment, then placed it beside him, but didn't let go of it completely. Obi-Wan used the force to uncover a chair that was buried and sat down.

Anakin looked at Obi-Wan with a hint of anger in his eyes," Well, I'm here. What's so important you have to keep me from going home?"

 _The fact that you're most likely going to go home and hurt the woman I love,_ Obi-Wan thought.

"Anakin..." he said, hesitating on what to say. "I...I would like to know why you prohibit me to visit the Senator."

"I told you before Obi-Wan, I don't fell so comfortable with you wanting to be around her. I know you and her had a romantic past. I don't know why you won't just leave it at that!"

"Anakin, I assure you Padme, uh… Senator Amidala and I are just friends; we haven't seen each other in a long time."

"I don't care. The answer is no. Now leave it alone!" Anakin said angrily.

Obi-Wan lowered his head. This was bad. He didn't want Anakin to leave the Temple angry; it's possible he'd go on a rampage and do who knows what to Padme. He had to get him to cool off.

"Alright. I'm sorry Anakin." Obi-Wan said sincerely.

"Is this why you're keeping me here? Because you seek permission to see her?'  
"No, no. I just wanted to talk to you. We don't talk like we used to."

"Well, I'm not your padawan anymore so maybe that's why." Anakin spat out.

Obi-Wan remained calm, "True, but that doesn't we can't bond right?" he said, trying to smile.

It didn't help. Anakin's face still had a sour expression.

"If you call this bonding. Look Obi-Wan, I'm tired. All I want to do is go home and rest. We can _bond_ some other time. Good night." Anakin then got up to leave.

Obi-Wan noticed that Anakin did not re-attach his lightsaber.

"Anakin," Obi-Wan said.

"What?!" Anakin responded, rather annoyed.

"Aren't you forgetting something?"

Anakin stopped in his tracks, then turned back around. Obi-Wan saw him roll his eyes. Anakin reached his hand out to supposedly call on the Force to retrieve his weapon, but nothing happened. He made a slight groan and Obi-Wan saw him clench his fist. He sighed then walked over to his bed to pick it up.

"Are you alright Anakin?" Obi-Wan asked, curious to know why a simple task as retrieving his lightsaber was difficult for Anakin.

"I'm fine, just tired." Anakin said. Obi-Wan could sense the hostility growing between them and decided it was best to stand down, at least for now.

"Alright, have a good night Anakin." Obi-Wan said.

"You as well Master." Anakin said, then he was gone.  
Obi-Wan pondered in his mind the thought of letting Anakin go tonight. Surely Padme was shook up from Obi-Wan's last visit, when he discovered the truth about her and Anakin; that had been 2 weeks ago. Obi-Wan returned to his own room. He took off his robe and belt and kicked off his boots. He plopped down on his bed. He could feel a migraine begin to grow in his head.

 _Two weeks!_ It had been 2 weeks since he'd seen her. He hadn't had a chance. Anakin had gone home all those nights and refused Obi-Wan's requests to stay, and Obi-Wan wouldn't risk a visit in the day, it was too much to lose. But he missed Padme terribly. His heart ached for her, his lips lust to taste her skin, and his lungs to breathe her in and warm his soul. He prayed that all was well and they would see each other soon. A miracle would bring them together soon, he could feel it in his heart.

 _Hang on Padme, I love you._


	9. Chapter 9

Anakin hadn't been lying to Obi-Wan when he said he needed rest; that was true. Ever since that day he went off on Padme about Obi-Wan he hadn't been sleeping well. Hell that was the lie! For years he felt he hadn't been sleeping well. It was a fear that kept from achieving peace with himself, a fear of losing her. He knew that Obi-Wan still cared for her, but he was unsure of Padme's feelings. _I love you Padme...but the question is...do you love me?_

Anakin left the Temple curious to wonder if Obi-Wan really cared to notice he wasn't able to pick up his lightsaber with the Force. It was all due to those damn deathsticks. Where and how he got them wasn't important, what was how he managed to feed his new addiction. He'd been smoking them in secret for almost 2 weeks.

Anakin parked his speeder at the entrance of 500 Republica. He would not enter just yet; he needed a smoke. He managed to hide the crystals in one of the food capsules tubes on his belt. Delicately he wrapped the grains into a piece of white paper, took out a match and lit up. He put the joint in his mouth and sucked in a breath; breathing in the aroma that was otherwise harmful to a Jedi. Deathsticks weakened a Jedi's perception of the Force, but Anakin didn't care. He liked how they made him feel, he welcomed it into his system with an extreme sense of calm. He exhaled and a puff of smoke surrounded his face, like the ones in his head that clouded his vision from seeing what was going on with his wife and Obi-Wan. For weeks Padme had been quiet, and not her normal quiet. But it became routine. Every night she'd be sitting there waiting for him or in the bedroom, waiting patiently for his to come; most of the time he was there, sometimes he crashed at the Temple, and others, passed out in some god forsaken place after getting high.

She obviously didn't notice he started using, or if she did she was too afraid to say anything.

The same thing with Obi-Wan. He'd always been blind for Anakin's sake, but he didn't know if it was for Anakin's protection or his own, or perhaps Padme's. Anakin knew his old Master still had feelings for her, he just didn't want to admit it! And he'd never be able to interrogate Obi-Wan like he did with Padme, but she still wouldn't say anything. If not for the high distracting and restraining him from his rage for violence, he'd kill her! It'd be much easier than killing Obi-Wan, and a lot less messy.

The power of his addiction would strangle any part of guilt that developed in him, it wouldn't be

able to work its effect after the crystals did their jobs, and they cease to fail yet. He was on a relaxing and mellow high; the joint had been successful and he no longer felt the burden of his wife or questionable best friend on his shoulders. He exhaled one last breath into the cool Coruscant air, then tossed the joint aside. Anakin stomped on it with his heavy-booted foot to be sure it was dead.

Padme was in the bedroom brushing her hair. The long brown strands flowed smoothly over her shoulders. She was yet disappointed by her reflection though. Purple rings were beginning to form under her eyes from lack of sleep. For weeks she would just lay there in her bed; Anakin's arm slung over her waist, pulling her close to him as if she were afraid to let her go. His poisonous breath on her neck, his lips and teeth brushing against her skin, so close at times she thought he would bite her; he'd done it before. Sure the physical wounds would heal, but they remained on her heart forever. Not even Obi-Wan's soft and gentle grace could heal those, for he had caused the deepest of them all.

 _You mustn't blame Obi-wan for this,_ she told herself. _It's nobody's fault, it just happened._

 _Oh, stop calling it an "it"! It's a human being, or will be...9 months down the road. Oh how do you live with yourself!_ Padme mentally asked her reflection. This...baby, Obi-Wan's baby, could not stay hidden for long. She needed to tell him! She needed to tell Anakin of her pregnancy. _Wait, no! Anakin and I haven't made love in months, how would I explain that I'm pregnant?!_ Padme placed her palm on her stomach; it didn't look any different...yet, but it would grow fast. She had to come up with a plan, and quick! But her first priority was sharing the joyous, but frightening, news with Obi-Wan.

 _Oh Obi, where are you?_

Anakin was still in his "high" when the elevator opened at his apartment. The room was dimly lit with just one light on. He walked out of the elevator. It was eerie quiet.

"Padme! Padme!" he called, his voice hoarse and dry; he almost didn't recognize it himself. But Padme did and she was there now as she was told.

"Anakin," she said, pacing over to him cautiously. Her fear growing as she got nearer, but she didn't show it. Anakin took her in his arms and hugged her close. The air from his nose hit hard on her ear and she trembled.

"Are you alright?" Anakin asked, as he let up and looked in her eyes.

"Yes, I'm fine." she replied, trying to cease the shivers. "What about you? You look terrible Ani, what's wrong?" she said, touching his cheek softly.

"I'm just tired. Sleep troubles...nothing for you to worry over." he said, his voice soft as he eased close to kiss her. Their lips met and for once in a long while Padme enjoyed a kiss from him. Anakin began kissing her neck, his lips hard on her fragile skin, but it actually felt relaxing.

"Anakin," Padme whispered softly.

"Yeah," he said, then kept on kissing. His lips taking her skin in his mouth. It made Padme shiver with excitement.

She then lost her train of thought when Anakin started pulling her robe off her shoulders.

His hands, for once, were gentle as they touched her cold skin. She let him pull it off and it dropped to the floor. She then took her arms and wrapped them around Anakin's neck and pulled him closer to her. She was surprised at how forcefully she pushed her mouth into his. He picked her up and carried her to their bedroom; his lips still touching her. He placed her down on the bed. For a moment he just stood there, looking down on her.

"What is it Ani?" Padme asked, her voice soft and sweet. She was still in awe by all that was happening.

"You are so beautiful." Anakin said. He then slipped off his boots and continued to look down on Padme with intense eyes. She felt her dear start to return. What was he up to?

Anakin then started to shed off his dark tunic. His muscles glowed in the dim light that came in from the blinds. He looked absolutely stunning. Padme couldn't believe her eyes. Was this really her husband? Was this beautiful creature looking down on her really Anakin? It was too good to be true.

He placed his hands on her shoulders as he started to come down on her. His lips back to hers.

"Padme," he said, letting up from the kiss. His voice soft and thin.

"Yes...Anakin," Padme said breathlessly.

"I wanna...I wanna make love." he said, between kisses.

Padme felt her eyes widen. _So that's his plan. Should I let him proceed?_

After all it would be easier to explain his current pregnancy but at the same time she didn't feel safe. Anakin was being too good for her. It didn't feel right. Something was wrong. She couldn't do it.

"I can't." she said, her voice nothing above a faint whisper.

"What," Anakin said, but it didn't sound like a question.

"Anakin, I-" she started to say, but it was too late. He'd won. Again. Pain started swelling up inside of her from Anakin's forceful love. She wanted to scream out but her own fear crushed her voice. She couldn't fight it, so she gave up. She gave up years ago. There was no reason to fight when he overpowered in every way. She knew it was too good to be true. He was only after his own pleasure: her pain. Tears drowned her eyes and she prayed they would blind her. She wanted nothing more than for the fire to be put out before it took over out of control. Padme felt her throat tighten, her breath caught, somewhere between an inhale and an exhale. No fresh air could enter as she suffocated. But the only words she could think of to sustain life insider of her were: _Obi-Wan, please forgive me..._


	10. Chapter 10

Obi-Wan woke up instantly. He tried to catch his breath. He felt as if he were being strangled. His body drenched in a cold sweat. Something was wrong, he could feel it. The room was still dark, which indicated it wasn't morning yet. He punched the button on the box that sat on his nightstand. A blue hologram appeared that read 3:39 AM. _Damn it!_ Obi-Wan cursed mentally in his head. He needed to go to her. Now! He felt it, he knew! She needed him! Obi-Wan sighed. Maybe it was his own anxiety that made him this way. Maybe it was all his own doing. _No! You're a Jedi, you know when there's trouble! You're bigger than that!_

Obi-Wan put his head in his hands. _Padme, please forgive me for being away so long. You don't know how much I miss you._ Obi-Wan closed his eyes and tried to focus on the pain that he was feeling. Just the thought of Padme hurt made him cringe and wish he had the strength to rip out his heart to ease it. Tonight! He had to see her tonight! Anakin had to stay at the Temple, even if Obi-Wan had to tie him down himself. _Hang on my love, I'll be there soon..._

Padme moaned in agony, as she clutched her stomach tightly. The sickness had returned. She'd been in the bathroom for almost an hour. She'd managed to escape Anakin without waking him. She liked him best when he was asleep. It was the only time he still looked innocent enough to make her smile. What happened to that little boy? The thought of him dreaming frightened her. Who knew what he dreamed about?

She let out another moan. _Oh, this is only the beginning,_ she thought. It's only going to get worse. She needed Obi-Wan. He needed to know. This time it was going to be a thousand times more difficult. Last time it was just the three of them, now it was four. Her, Obi-Wan, Anakin, and the unborn child she now carried.

 _Flashback_

It was another one of those rare rainy days on Coruscant. The sound usually helped relax her, but not today. Here she sat with the man she'd walk through fire for. He was so beautiful, but yet she wanted nothing more than to run from him. For she had come to a solution that would end their problem, but it would break his heart.

"Darling, are you alright? You seem tense." Obi-Wan said, placing his hand over hers on her lap. She put her fingers in his and held his hand tightly.

"Obi...you know we can't keep it." Padme said sadly, turning her eyes away from his. She didn't want to see them.

"You say that like it's a mere pet. It's a human being Padme!" he exclaimed.

"Yes Obi-wan, I know. But it's also a mistake. I can't risk everything to see it live. I-"

Obi-Wan cut her off, "Then we'll leave. We'll find some place where we can be together and raise this child. Now I have a reason to leave the Order Padme." he said, taking her face in his hands. She had no choice but to look in those sad eyes. She took a breath.

"No...Your place is with the Jedi and mine is in the Senate. Think of the whispers, if anyone were to find out about us. We-"  
She stopped because he now gripped her face in his hands, his thumbs massaging her cheeks. "I don't care. We have each other...and that's all that matters."

"If only it were that simple...I'm sorry to do this to you Obi-Wan, but we have no choice. I can't keep something like this a secret, you understand right?"

He wanted so badly to say no, but he couldn't lie to her. She was right, and he knew what was at stake. They had put so much at risk already, a baby would just break it all. Obi-Wan understood that Padme was in no condition to carry a child, nonetheless the child of a Jedi.

Padme saw tears swelling in her lover's eyes. How would he ever understand? No matter how much she wanted to keep it, they couldn't. For 5 long and agonizing weeks she tried to avoid this but it had to be done, before she became too attached. But now she was more concerned about his feelings. He needed to understand that this was the right decision. Sure it would hurt, but they would get through it together.

"I understand Padme." he spoke softly, his voice flat and without feeling. But she could see it in those eyes, he was trying to hold it back. It broke her heart having to do this to him. She was more worried about him now than herself. Then she felt tears fall from her own aching eyes, pain from the stress to hold them back. She had to remain strong, for Obi-Wan's sake, but she couldn't take it anymore.

Padme threw her face into Obi-Wan's and kissed his lips hard, she begged him to take the pain away. For a moment she was disgusted with herself. _How can you be so selfish? Inflict your own pain on him when he has his own, that you caused!_

"I'm sorry Obi...I'm sorry." Padme said, between the kisses. Her breath was strained as Obi-Wan continued to give into her love. He took hold of her face once more. It was damp from her tears. He had to gather up all his strength cry himself as he looked in her eyes; red and swollen orbs from the pain. He couldn't stand to see her like this.

He took hold of her and cradled her in his arms, put his face to hers and kissed her lips, enveloping his in hers. He tried to suck the poison out of her, make it his own. She was his world, his reason to live, and his very breath that sustained lie in him. He kissed harder, to block the pain and keep it away. They would face the future together. No matter how bad things get, he wouldn't leave. To lose her would be the same as dying, worse than the most painful death. He wouldn't think about it. He pushed it out of his mind. He would never let her go. He would keep her, for she owned his heart.

Now & Forever.

Night was finally falling on the city. Padme once again locked herself in the bathroom. Not because of the sickness, but because of the fear. It was swelling up inside of her; it would grow as this baby now grow in her. She hated herself for doing this to them again. They were right back where they had been not so long ago. Only now it was much worse, her abusive husband was involved. Padme cringed at the word "abusive". She'd never labeled Anakin that way. She never thought badly of him in any way, she'd always blamed herself for what he did. After all she was the one who let Obi-Wan go. Anakin's physical beatings were not as bad compared to the war she fought within herself, in fact it was what she deserved. _You're the one who gave up on paradise, you brought this upon yourself. Don't blame Master Kenobi for this. You could have resisted, but you gave in. You weak and pathetic whore! How can you be so selfish?!_

Padme managed to stand up and support herself on the bathroom counter. She looked in the mirror; the person staring back at her was definitely not her. Her hair was tangled, her skin pale and cold, and dark circles were under her red and droopy eyes. When was the last time she'd slept peacefully? When was the last time she ate? That last question's answer escaped her, she couldn't remember. She'd rather sleep than eat anyway. But Padme felt too weak to walk to the bedroom.

The long hours of the days seemed to run together. What day was it? How long had it been since she'd seen Obi-Wan? When was Anakin coming home? She made her way back to the bedroom, but heard a noise from the front room. Someone was here. _Oh no, it's Anakin,_ she thought. She was too tired and too scared to go up and see him, but the thought of him going off again sent uncomfortable chills up her spine, so she decided it was best to go greet him. As Padme made her way down the hall it seemed to be getting longer, or she was getting slower. Well Anakin was in no rush; he hadn't hollered yet. Padme then felt sick again. All she wanted to do was collapse on the floor.

"I'm here...Ana-" she said, then felt her knees buckle and she fell to the floor. With not even enough to register it was not Anakin, but Obi-Wan, standing there. He saw her, his face in horror.

He was down instantly and cradling her in his arms. She was cold so he her tight. Her eyes were closed, but she was breathing.

"Padme, Padme wake up. Please darling, wake up. I'm here now, you're safe." Obi-Wan said, trying to retain some hope in his worried tone. He kissed her icy cheeks, but she didn't react. With all his strength he lifted her up and carried her to the couch. He placed her down, grasping her hand.

"Please Padme, you've got to wake up. I'm here, you're safe." he said, squeezing her hand. He then saw her eyelashes flutter and her eyes opened.

"Obi-Wan..." she muttered weakly.

Obi-Wan sighed in relief, then kissed her hands.

"Oh Padme, what's wrong? What did Anakin do to you?"

"It's not...Obi, promise me one thing."

He held her hand tighter in his, afraid to lose her. "Anything darling, what is it?"

"Promise me you won't leave us."

"No never." he then kissed her hand again, then gave a puzzled look. "Did you just say us?" he asked.

Padme lowered her head in sadness. "Yes...Obi, I'm pregnant."

She looked in his eyes for comfort but all she felt was pain. He just store at her with shock. She knew she'd taken his voice from him so she didn't expect him to respond right away. She didn't blame him for what he did either; he got up and walked to the other side of the room. For a moment she let him be, to give him time to digest the seriousness of the situation. But now that it was out she couldn't avoid it any longer. She gathered up what strength she had and was by his side. She touched his shoulder, but he surprisingly rejected her gesture by pulling away. He didn't face her.

In a low voice he asked, "How long?"

"Almost 4 weeks, but I've only known for 2, otherwise I would have told you. You know I wouldn't keep something like this a secret from you."

Obi-Wan didn't understand the feelings swelling up inside of him. He didn't know whether to be sad or angry, depressed or pitied, jealous or joyous? Was the child his? He had to know, but he had to face her. He looked in her eyes and saw how difficult it was for her to do this, so he took hold of her hand once more.

"Is it mine?" he asked.

Padme felt a lump in her throat. Though the answer was yes she still didn't want to tell him, and have it destroy his beautiful universe.

"Yes..."he voice shaky, he lips quivered as the answer slipped out. From her eyes she released the tears she could no longer hold back. Obi-Wan couldn't stand there and watch her suffer. He took hold of her face and smashed his with hers. Their lips melting together in a warm long-awaited kiss. He was rougher than she remembered him to be, but she didn't care.

She needed to taste him, satisfy her hunger and fill her up, and possibly drown any doubt making its way to her thoughts.

"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry." Padme said, between kisses, having the strongest sense of Deja vu.

"It's ok..." Obi-Wan said softly, comforting her.

"No...No it's not," she said, shaking her head in his hands, tears spilling over and flooding them. Obi-Wan didn't want to hear any more. He put his lips back to hers, forcing her mouth open like he was trying to enter her soul, to make her at ease with herself. It didn't help. She tore away from the fusion he was trying to create.

"Please, you must understand! I'm pregnant!" she shouted, then she felt her energy fail her again. She swayed. Obi-Wan caught her and tried to steady her.

"Don't touch me!" Padme exclaimed, pushing his hands away. She looked and saw the surprise in his eyes. She cringed. She found it was trouble just to keep her eyes open, nonetheless hold herself up. She fell forward again. Obi-Wan caught her.

"Let go...I don't..." she said, her voice slipping away as she beat Obi-Wan with her fists. He didn't budge; he just held her tighter.

"I said let go!" Padme shouted again, raising her hands to push him off her but he grabbed her wrists and lowered them down. Padme struggled.

"Padme, shh...We'll get through this together. No matter what happens, no matter how bad things get we'll stay strong."

Padme took a moment to consider his words. Hearing his voice after what seemed like eternity was enough to calm her, but under false pretenses. She knew what lie on the other side, and she didn't want to face it alone. She stopped struggling and fell in his arms, not able to withstand it any longer.

"Padme! Padme!" Obi-Wan called out, he shook her body to get a reaction. Nothing. He brought her back over to the couch. Something was seriously wrong!

"Padme!" he called out again.

She moaned.

"Padme, please. Tell me what's wrong. When was the last time you ate?"

"I...I don't know," she said, her voice soft, her eyes barely open.

"You must eat! Wait here, I'll be right back."  
"No!" Padme objected, she had enough strength to grab Obi-Wan's collar to restrain him. She held him close. "Don't...leave."

"I won't be but a moment. You must eat something my love." he said, touching her cheek. The light in his eyes reassured her he would return. She let go of his shirt and he stood up, and leaned back down to kiss her forehead.

"I won't be long." he said, then walked away.

Padme moaned slightly. She wouldn't be able to hide the truth from him any longer, but this distraction might stall it. She didn't count on passing out, but she was far too weak to care. Obi-Wan was here now; he would save her. But she didn't know which was worse: Anakin's beatings or her tormenting thoughts afterwards...

The slums of Coruscant were one of the worst places to be, especially at night. But down here it seemed there was no difference. Though it was labeled as one of the "hot spots" with the nightclubs and local bars, it had a dark side. The underbelly consisted of scoundrels and the most pathetic low lives in the galaxy. But it's where one went in search of treasure, and Anakin's "chest" had been empty. He'd been meaning to fill it again.

Desperation was not the Jedi way. Ha! Down here they don't care who or what you are. Not even the fact that you have a weapon that could easily cut them in half in a few swift stokes. No, down here you're just as vulnerable as everyone else. But the fact that you're a Jedi and you're down here indicates you have a serious problem. And because you feed it means you're less likely to be aware of it.

Anakin held the pouch tight in his hands. A sense of pride came over him. Greed enveloped him tight inside its grasp. He felt a great sense of accomplishment; his hands trembling with excitement.

 _It's yours, no one can take this away!_ Anakin questioned his own feelings: _This feeling or this sack? Oh who cares! It's mine!_ Anakin then hid the pouch in the sleeve of his robe as he walked down a dark alley way. He made sure it was deserted before he unveiled his prize again. Repeating a procedure he had become accustomed to, he lit up the first joint; taking a deep breath. Sucking in every ounce of goodness it had to offer, then blowing it out again. _And they call this poison! Ha! Obi-Wan doesn't know what he's missing!_

 _Obi-Wan!_ Anakin made a disgusted face as he thought about him. Obi-Wan was too blind to see what was right in front of him. Not that Anakin wanted him to know what he was doing, but it's not like he could stop him. Anakin Skywalker is driven; once he's done set his mind to something he's hard to stop. Not even the _great Obi-Wan Kenobi_ could influence him otherwise. No, Anakin was under a new influence. He obeyed his new command with passion and commitment. Addiction had taken control and had a strong hold, with no signs of easing up.


	11. Chapter 11

_Flashback_

The stars glittered in the night sky above the city scape of Coruscant. It as a lovely sight, but nothing was more beautiful than _her._ Obi-Wan wished he could freeze time and capture this moment forever. Here she stood before him on the apartment's balcony, brushing her beautiful brown locks, in a nightgown that only enhanced her beauty. With each stroke of her hand she took his breath away.

Obi-Wan let out a quiet sigh, which she must have heard.

"Obi, are you alright?" Padme asked sweetly, turning to smile at him.

Obi-Wan felt his hear melt. What could he possibly say to her? The truth; it was all she needed from him.

"I'm fine. What about you?"

She turned to look him in the eyes and giggled. He flashed her a smile and she felt her heart melt into his.

"I've never felt better." Padme replied, with a smile. She then turned back around and continued to brushing her hair. The truth was she was flirting with Obi-Wan. She still enjoyed teasing him, tempting him, but tonight she was in no hurry. It was just the two of them, alone with the moon and stars.

Obi-Wan looked up into the night sky. The combination of Padme's beauty, the night sky and the city reminded him of a song; a sweet melody he'd once heard, but long forgotten where.

 _"Quietly while you were asleep, the moon and I were talking...I asked that she'd always keep you protected."_ Obi-Wan sang in a soft melodic voice. Padme turned around with an expression of surprise on her face. She didn't know Obi-Wan could sing. She didn't want to interrupt so she didn't bother asking how or why. He had paused and was now smiling at her.

"Is this ok, is this what you want?" he asked innocently.

Padme chuckled to herself and nodded her head, "Please, do go on."

Obi-Wan cleared his throat.

 _"She promised you her light...that you so gracefully carried. You bring her light and shine like morning."_

Padme sighed to herself. _He has the voice of an angel!_ She could feel goosebumps on her arms. Master Kenobi was now holding her. He'd turned her around so she faced the city and he stood behind her. He took hold of her waist, his hands gentle.

 _"And then the wind pulls the clouds across the moon. Your light fills the darkest room, and I can see the miracle that keeps us from falling..."_

Obi-Wan then kissed Padme's cheek, and rubbed his hands on her stomach. Padme felt her head fall back against Obi-Wan shoulder. She closed her eyes.

 _"She promised all the sweetest gifts...that only the heavens could bestow. You bring your light, and shine like morning."_ Obi-Wan then moved his hands to Padme's shoulders, and held her tight. She crossed her arms over his, holding him close. He then began to sway them back and forth. They interlocked hands.

" _And as you so gracefully give, her light as long as you live...I'll always remember this moment..."_

He then began to hum the tune in a gentle voice, while kissing her neck softly.

A quiet sigh escaped Padme's lips. She felt a needy desire for Master Kenobi; stronger than ever before. A feeling down inside her was screaming for him. Obi-Wan's soft humming soothed the desire, but also made it stronger.

" _And as you so gracefully give, her light as long as you live...I'll always remember this moment."_

He took a breath, which she felt in her ear. It made her shiver. Obi-Wan leaned close to her.

" _I'll always remember...this moment..."_ he sang, allowing his voice to fade away softly as he dragged out that last word; his lips tickled her cheek. The hunger for him was now stronger than ever.

 _Is he really all mine?_ She fell back against his chest, unable to fight it anymore. He'd taken her breath away with his beatific voice. She felt those goosebumps prick her whole body now.

"Obi..." Padme whispered his name softly.

"Yes Padme," he replied, his lips still resting on her cheek. Padme trembled; she thought she felt his tongue come out.

"I'm...I think I'm ready," she said, letting the words flow out of her mouth. Obi-Wan caught them in his own as he sank his lips to hers in a passionate kiss. He held her in his arms, leaning her backwards, cradling him close. He knew what she wanted and was happy to oblige, because he too felt the same burning desire. He could no longer quiet his heart, deny these feelings he had for years on end. He was so close to possessing her, he could taste it in her kiss. She'd never tasted so tempting in all their time together. But after tonight he would own her; she was offering herself to him and he accepted her gift.

 _A Jedi shall not know love..._

Obi-Wan Kenobi had let love in to his heart and it had settled there; he hoped it never left. For she had made his life complete; to be without her now would be as taking away the oxygen he breathe, for she was the sweet air that filled his lungs. He took another breath, she sighed as he started to kiss her again. He then let up, holding her there, looking in her innocent eyes.

"Are you sure?" he asked, breathlessly from the kisses.

"Yes," Padme said, wrapping her arms around his neck and pulling him down to hers. He hovered there for a moment, staring. His breath blowing hot air on it. She felt her muscles tighten with pleasure. He then put his lips to her neck and too it in them, devouring her love. Padme put Obi-Wan's thick strands of hair in her fingers, eager to touch him; but she still needed more to satisfy that appetite.

 _Oh Obi, take me. For I am yours. Now and Forever..._

As if being able to read her mind exactly he lifted her up and carried her inside.

 _I'll always remember this moment..._

It didn't matter who's thought it was, they were both thinking the same thing...

Padme snuggled close to Obi-Wan's chest; they were nestled on the floor together since the bedroom seemed too risky. Padme felt her strength come back as Obi-Wan had encouraged her to eat. The truth was she was too stressed and sick to eat, but Obi-Wan's words persuaded her otherwise.

Just seeing he again, holding him, offered her a small feeling of hope; but it soon faded when Obi-Wan looked at her with sad eyes.

"Obi-Wan...I've decided to keep it,"

Obi-Wan's expression didn't change, which surprised her. She thought he would be happy.

"What? What's wrong?"

Obi-Wan hesitated for a moment, then spoke, "Padme, we can't. Don't worry about me. We, but more importantly you, can't go through that again. And also we've got to deal with Anakin...Does he know?"

Padme lowered her head, "No, but I already have an excuse to tell him."

"I don't understand."

Padme sighed sadly and heavily. She didn't want to tell Obi-Wan what happened, but she led herself right into that trap. It was inescapable now. Not matter how much she wanted to erase that nightmare. It was real, it happened. And he had the right to know.

"Padme, what happened?" Obi-Wan asked sternly.

Now it was her turn to hesitate. She closed her eyes tight to hold it in, but Obi-Wan took hold offer her cheeks, forcing her to look him in the eyes.

"What happened?" he asked again, in a slow voice.

She had no choice now. She knew Master Kenobi all too well. He was very good at making things go his way.

"He...we...I..." Padme didn't know how to say it or where to begin. But he knew, by the look on his face she knew he knew. Obi-Wan let go of her and sat up beside her.

"No," he muttered sadly, trying to hold the feelings in. Padme could hear the struggle in his voice, such a small word. She took hold of his hand, he then took hers in both of his. She tried to stay strong for him but there was no use. She threw her arms around him in a hug. She snuggled close to his chest, tears and all. He rubbed her back softly.

"Oh Obi, I'm so sorry."

"Sorry...?" Obi-Wan said confusedly, then lifted her head to look in her eyes. "Sorry for what? It's not your fault." he added.

"For bringing you into this mess."  
"Padme, I'm the one who should be apologizing. If I hadn't come back-"

"If you hadn't come back I'd be in much worse condition. Having you back is the best thing that's happened in a long time." she then wrapped her arms around his neck again. "I'm sorry I ever let you go." Padme then kissed his lips. Obi-Wan accepted the kiss and returned one.

"I never let go." Obi-Wan said, stroking her cheek softly. He then kissed her neck. Padme sighed, pulling him close. Obi-Wan laid his head on her shoulder.

"Obi-Wan...I love you." she said softly. She felt Obi-Wan's lips on her collar bone. She cooed with pleasure.

" _And as you so gracefully give...her light as long as you live."_ Obi-Wan sang softly. Padme's eyes lit up. It was the lullaby! The one he used to sing to her when it was just the two of them. She'd never forgotten it, or the sweet angelic sound of Obi-Wan's voice singing her to sleep. He lifted his head up off her shoulder. She took hold of his face and put hers to his, their noses barely touching.

" _I'll always remember...this moment."_ the two of them sang softly in unison.

Obi-Wan then kissed the bridge of her nose.

"I love you..." he whispered.

"And I've always loved you." Padme said.

She and Obi-Wan then laid down together to try and enjoy the peace together, at least while it lasted.

It was close to 4am when Anakin sluggishly walked in to his room and threw himself on his bed. _Oh my head,_ he thought, referring to the migraine he'd had for a few hours but was now able to recognize it. His memory of the night was very blurred, clouded like the smoke from the sticks.

 _Damn, that was good!_

Anakin managed to roll his sore body on to his back. He reached into his pocked to reassure himself the pouch was still there. _Ah._ He then padded the pouch with satisfaction. That was sure to last another week or two, however long he could manage to keep it a secret. Not that that bothered him. He was used to keeping secrets, but one thing he wasn't used to was people keeping secrets from him. There were a few times where he would go home clean, but depressed, and corrupt from being away from the valued substance he now craved.

He had become dependent on the crystals for basic functionality. But he was too addicted to see it was destroying his precious life. And if he did, he didn't care. It numbed the pain he felt whenever he wasn't using, and went home to Padme. _What happened to us?_ Why was she doing this to him? He sensed the secrets she was hiding deep within her broken heart, but couldn't read her mind. And the damn drugs didn't help any! But it didn't matter. He was under the substance's spell. But now that it was wearing off he was arriving into hell. Maybe it would soften if he went home, maybe at least try to have a civilized conversation with his wife. But now all he wanted to do was sleep. He let it take him away, back to a time when it was peaceful.


	12. Chapter 12

_Flashback_

Padme paced back and forth nervously. _Calm down_ , she told herself. _You want this. He wants this. You love him and he loves you._ Padme stopped in front of the mirror, captivated by the reflection staring back at her. The girl looking back with wide eyes was wearing the most beautiful dress in the whole galaxy, for it was a cream-colored wedding dress. _Is that really me? Does the real me want to be Anakin Skywalker's wife?_ Padme sighed sadly, thinking how ironic this moment was; it was not so long ago that a similar opportunity was placed before her; not so long ago she had loved another.

Padme clenched her fist and pushed the thought out of her mind. What's done is done, or as Master Kenobi would say, it is the will of the Force. Padme felt her muscles tense up as she recalled his name. _You promised yourself you'd never ever speak or think of him ever again! You made this decision. No regrets! You love Anakin...and he loves you._ She took a breath, then she heard the familiar sound of familiar shuffling coming down the hall. Padme was facing the door even before it opened.

"M'lady, we're ready for you now."

Padme sighed, "Thank you Threepio."

Padme fixed her hair one last time under the laced veil. She tried to smile at herself.

 _Well, here goes nothing. In a matter of time you'll be Mrs. Anakin Skywalker..._

Padme was surprised she had not disturbed Obi-Wan's peaceful slumber by her unbearable moaning, though she was in the bathroom. Morning had arrived and the sickness was back. She didn't think it was just from the fact she was a month pregnant. Her conscience was weighing her down and making her sluggish and tired.

Today was the day she would speak to Anakin about this, tell him the news of this baby; make him believe the child is his. Padme took a deep breath and let herself go again, when the spasm ended she moaned in agony again. That's when she heard the gentle knock. A short sense of calm over took her; she needed Obi-Wan to hold her again, as he did last night.

"Padme...are you alright?" she heard his gentle voice on the other side of the door.

"Come..." her voice faded, she couldn't finish the rest of her sentence. She collapsed forward on the floor. Next thing she knew she was in Obi-Wan's arms.

"Padme," he said, stroking her cheek.

"Obi...It's just morning sickness...Nothing for you to worry...about." she said, breathlessly.

She felt Obi-Wan's lips rest on her forehead. "I can't leave you like this."

"You must go...Anakin..." she tried to catch her breath, "Anakin will be here soon."

Padme then reached up and touched Obi-Wan's cheek. He put his hand over hers and kept it there. She saw a hint of worry in his eyes, and his bottom lip quivered.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" he asked, with worried eyes.

"Yes, this one it meant to live. I...I want to give it a chance. But first Anakin has to know...and believe it's his." Padme said strongly. In her eyes he saw her confidence slipping. He squeezed her hand tight, then kissed it softly with his tender lips.

"I trust you know what you're doing."

"Of course. Now you must go. But know that I and this baby love you."

"And I you. Always and forever, you know that."

"Yes,"

Obi-Wan then took hold of her cheeks and smashed their lips into a bittersweet goodbye kiss. Padme felt tears form behind her eyes, but she would keep them there. She would not break down, she would remain strong for the sake of their child. After an all too brief moment, the kiss ended. Padme felt one tear escape her eyes. Obi-Wan wiped it away gently, then kissed her cheek. She wanted to keep him there so badly; the urge to hold him back was unbearable, but she knew better.

"Obi-Wan please, you must go." she said, anger rising in her voice, but it wasn't from him disobeying, it was from her refusing to let him go. _There you go being selfish again!_

"Are you-"

"I'll be fine. I love you, now go." Padme said, trying to smile at him.

Obi-Wan chuckled at her attempt, "I love you too. Goodbye my darling" he said, then he got up to leave. _Just let him go, you'll be fine,_ Padme told herself. She then took a deep breath and tried to gather all her confidence.

Obi-Wan store out the clear glass portal of the elevator as it took him down faster than he wanted it to. Even in the early hours the city was buzzing with activity. _At least_ _they're_ __ _happy,_ he thought. _Stop it, you're happy too...or you should be._ _Padme loves you and so will this child. But what about Anakin?_

"Uh," Obi-Wan groaned. He didn't want to think about Anakin right now. Just the thought of him and what Padme was about to do brought chills to his bones and a sickness to his stomach. The elevator came to a stop in the complex lobby. Obi-Wan pulled the hood of his robe over his head, and that's when he saw him! Anakin was standing outside the building! But luckily his back was facing Obi-Wan. Still this was not good. He had to get out of there! Now!

He didn't have time to come up with a brilliant plan so he just ran down the hall to hide.

Obi-Wan had much experience with sneaking around so he didn't think Anakin saw him, or come after him. After a few moments he peeked around the corner, and saw a sluggish Anakin groan as he entered the elevator. _Oh Padme, I'm so sorry,_ Obi-Wan thought as she sunk back against the wall. When he didn't sense Anakin's presence anymore he made his way for the exit.

He walked out into the city, but not without stopping to glance back at the glorious 500 Republica apartment complex. _Good luck. I love you and I will return...soon,_ he thought, then blew a kiss up towards the sky. Obi-Wan then turned away, not able to look at it any longer and walked on.

Padme had cleaned herself up and was in the bedroom getting dressed for the day. Standing in front of her vanity mirror she admired herself. She placed her hand over her stomach; it was barely big enough to tell there was a baby inside; a baby that shared half of Obi-Wan Kenobi's genes no less.

 _Oh Anakin will know, damn him, he will know! You really messed up this time. How could you decided to keep this...this..._ Padme sighed, _beautiful creature. Don't worry little one, I won't let anything happen to you..._

The doors opened to reveal an empty and quiet household, and it was an eerie quiet. Anakin huffed as he entered.

"Padme, are you here?!"

Anakin's call reached her ears, though she didn't want it. It was time already? She felt her spine tighten. _Deep breaths, you can do this. Calmly and rationally. Make him believe you; feed it to him, force it down his throat! You can do it, for Obi-Wan, for the life of this little baby._

"In the bedroom Ani." she hollered, after what seemed like an eternity between his call and hers. She heard his boots thump down the hall, which only heightened her fear; so much she felt herself shake. She gripped the vanity table, where she now sat; her palms coated in sweat from her nervousness. That's when she saw him, or his reflection, in the mirror. There he was, standing in the doorway, barely over the threshold. He didn't look impressed and his face wore a scowl.

"Good morning Ani. I trust your night was well." Padme said, trying to sound cheerful.

"Not really." he spat out at her.

"Oh...that's too bad. I...I missed you," she tried not to make a face or change her tone as she said that to him. He wasn't fazed. But what he did say caught her off guard.

"I missed you too." he said, in a soft and gentle voice. By now he was standing behind her. Padme felt her spine tighten again. He then placed his hand on her shoulder, his fingers running smoothly over her skin. She prayed he wouldn't notice how tense she was, but it was too late.

"Are you alright?" he asked.

Padme felt like time had frozen her. She couldn't react to that question, other than stare wide-eyed at herself in the mirror. _It's time,_ she told herself. Anakin continued to rub her shoulder, thinking it was relaxing her, but it only made her tenser.

"She took a breath, "Anakin...we need to talk."

"Yes, I think we do." he agreed. By the tone in his voice she knew he knew something.

 _Oh no. Don't let this be another interrogation, please let him understand, just this once,_ Padme pleaded silently in her overcrowded mind.

Padme cleared her throat, "Would you like to stay in here or go-"  
Anakin put his hand up to interrupt her, "Here is fine."

Padme nodded, then offered her hand to him. He took it, but not without sending shivers through her. His grip was so...so... _dangerous_ was the only word that came to mind whenever she thought about his hands, and the way he used them on her. Anakin led her to the bed and they sat down. Padme made sure there was some space between them before she spoke.

"Anakin...I don't know where to begin." she said truthfully.

Anakin sighed, "I do. What's going on?!"

"What do you mean?"

Anakin groaned, "You've been very...secluded lately, more than usual. Like there's something you don't want to tell me."

It was her turn to sigh. There was no use dancing around the subject when he saw inside her head. Who was she to go against his Jedi senses?! She took a breath and clenched her fist to hold herself together. Anakin must have saw this action because he took hold of her hand in his, unballing her fist in his gloved hand. Padme looked down at their hands then back up at his face; it offered no sympathy.

"Tell me!" Anakin shouted impatiently. She felt his grip tighten on her hand so she couldn't pull away. Padme felt her lip quiver, she bit down on it to cease the shaking.

"Well," Anakin said, his patience growing thin. He moved closer to Padme now, putting his hands on her waist; she shook from his touch. She didn't know how to do it, his actions were distracting, as well as making her even more uncomfortable.

"Anakin...can I have a moment?" she asked, her voice shaky.

"You've had your moment, now tell me!"  
He moved even closer now, just inches from her face. He squeezed her hand now. She tried to pull away, but he was too strong. She stood up off the bed and tried to pull her arm away.

"Anakin please, this is really difficult to say." Padme begged. That's when he let go of her wrist and she fell to the floor. She scrambled to stand up quickly before he was by her side again.

She made sure she didn't face him, but he was now behind her. His hot breath stung her tense skin. He put his lips to her bare shoulder, planting faint kisses on it.

"Perhaps I didn't make it clear," he said in a soft voice. She then felt his arm slither around her waist again, holding her so she couldn't escape. "Now tell me," his lips tickling her neck as he spoke, as the uncomfortable kisses continued. Padme felt his hand on her stomach; he began squeezing it.

 _Stop Anakin, you'll hurt us,_ she wanted to say. She closed her eyes to concentrate, to block out his distractions.

"I'm pregnant." she let the words slip out, nothing above a quiet mumble. If she wasn't the one saying it she wouldn't be able to understand.

"What was that?" Anakin asked, amused by Padme's reaction to all this. She wasn't able to do anything. His lips turned coarse and he began kissing harder, using his teeth to bite her precious skin.

Padme yelped in pain, "I said I'm pregnant!"

After a moment he stooped, to take in her words perhaps. Padme held her breath, frightened to see his reaction, or in this case fee. Anakin took back his hands and pushed Padme aside. She fell to the floor with a thud, landing face down. She kept her head down so he wouldn't see her cry. But when he spoke she looked at him in fear.

"How could this happen?!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air in anger. Padme trembled at his booming voice, but more so because he was kneeling down to her. The fear had frozen her body, she couldn't move away, so she let him come. He grabbed her hair and pulled her head back pulling her neck muscles.

"Ahh." Padme yelped.

"Shut up! Now, how did this happen Padme?" he asked, his teeth clenched in anger; she could hear his breath hiss through them.

Padme couldn't find her voice, let alone the courage to even speak. More tears just fled from her eyes.

"Uhh!" Anakin made a disgusted groan as he pushed Padme downward towards the floor again. She caught herself before her face hit the floor, but her nose smashed. She covered it with her hands to ease the pain, but Anakin heard her whimpers.

"How could you do this?!" Anakin exclaimed.

"Anakin, I-" Padme said as she tried to get up.

"There's no way I did this! This...thing can't be mine." he shouted, pointing at Padme's belly. Padme placed her hands over it, as though to protect it from Anakin's fury.

"Who else's would it be?!" she blurted out, taking advantage of his outrage. She had to protect

Obi-Wan and this baby, she might as well start somewhere.

"I don't know. But I do know one thing, we're not keeping it."

Padme knew that was coming, but she couldn't give up while she had a small amount of courage to defend them.

"Ani please, I-" she started to beg, but he silenced her with a maniacal laugh.

"Don't tell me you're attached to it already."

Padme nodded her head sadly, afraid of what he'd so next.

"How long have you had this thing exactly?"

Padme cringed. How long had it been since Anakin...?

"2 weeks," she blurted out. She knew better though; it was actually 4 but he didn't need to know.

She saw Anakin lower his brow in anger, "What?! You've been pregnant for 2 weeks and you're just now telling me."  
"I...I didn't know. I just found out. I-"

Anakin interrupted again, "Well tomorrow you're going to the MD to get this thing removed. I can't handle this."

"An abortion. No Anakin, I can't! Please." Padme begged, tears stinging her eyes again. _You can't handle this! Oh Obi, what do I do?_

"We can't keep your mistake!" Anakin said.

"It's not a mistake, it's a human being and I love it!" Padme shouted back, trying to keep the shaking under control once more.

"How dare you raise your voice to me woman!"

Anakin then took hold of Padme's arm and gripped it tight, raising it above her head. He knees buckled and she fell, but Anakin remain a firm hand on her arm. She then looked up and saw his other hand reach for his lightsaber. Padme felt her heart stop and he eyes widened in horror.

"Anakin! Stop! No, please! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry. I-I love you." Padme shrieked to defend herself; her tongue tripping over the words as they came from her mouth.

"If you were sorry we wouldn't be in this mess." Anakin said, not easing up on his grip. But to her relief he let go of his lightsaber. Then suddenly he let go of Padme's arm.

"We'll finish this talk later." he said, then walked towards the elevator. Padme didn't even bother to ask where he was going or when he'd be back. Part of her wished he never did, part of her wished he was still that little slave boy on Tatooine, at least he had a heart.

Padme then felt something tickle her nose and trickle down her face. She reached her hand up to wipe it. A patch of red liquid rested on her finger. The sight of it almost made her faint; her nose was bleeding from the impact of the floor. She thought she should go clean it up. _What, clean it up and disguise it like it never happened, like all the times before. What happened to us? Where's the Anakin Skywalker I fell in love with? Was it all just a dream after all? Was I too blind to see this coming, to leave Obi-Wan?_

With hundreds of questions flooding her mind Padme collapsed on the floor in tears. Never mind she was losing blood; oh she was losing much more than that. If she hadn't reached her breaking point yet she was awfully close. She covered her face in her hands, coating them with blood and tears.

 _Take me away, take me out of this hell; even death would seem more peaceful than this world. Why didn't he strike me down with his blade?! We'd both be happy then._ That's when Padme got off the floor and ran back to her vanity. She threw open a drawer and began rummaging through it, then she found what she was looking for. When she saw it she was afraid to pick it up. It just laid there, as it had for years, even before she married Anakin. A gift, a token, a symbol of a boy's love.

" _It will bring you good fortune."_ He had said.

The japor snipper's magic seemed to contradict because she had fallen in love with Obi-Wan soon after she lost it. Those had been the best years of her life. But she lost them because of her own selfish desires. How could the fates change so quickly? Anakin had come back in to her life at that time. Not as the young boy she knew on Tatooine, but as a strong-willed Jedi, and he was beautiful; so grown up. A handsome and loving man. But as of this moment she didn't recognize any of them.

All she wanted was to forget him, forget everything he ever said or did to her. _Erase it all! Take it away!_ With that thought in mind she grabbed the pendant and with all her strength threw it against the wall. The force of impact caused it to split in to two pieces; broken and split down the middle, much like that heart that beat in her chest.

 _ **If I could change I would...**_

 _ **Take back the pain I would...**_

 _ **Retrace every wrong move that I made I would...**_

 _ **If I could stand up and take the blame I would...**_

 _ **If I could take all the shame to the grave I would...**_


	13. Chapter 13

Evil in the sense of a characteristic is not born, it is created...or in this instance influenced. The mind of a child is easily influenced by the world around him. The child must harvest whatever experience they are introduced to. Living his youth as a slave on Tatooine Anakin did not have such proper influences. Though coated with a false happiness the underbelly of his early life had its darkness. Slaves are treated nothing better than what than what the locals describe as "bantha poodoo". Women on Tatooine are treated lowly as well. Anakin is scarred by the sight of his own mother being tortured and raped; to this day it burns his eyes when he even thought about it, even in the moments of hurting his own wife (they have a bleaker past, but that is another story)

There's the problem! _Wife_...such a simple word. He cringed at it. What did it mean to have a wife? Jedi don't marry. Jedi don't love. But what was it in this case? Did Anakin love Padme, did her ever love her? Of course, love is what makes him human and he had his moments. But something is blocking them, something destroyed it. A great fear now replaces that love, a fear that he could lose her...again. He disguises it with anger and aggression.

Let's take a journey...back into the past to see what exactly made this once loving man the way he is...

Anakin Skywalker first saw Padme when he was about ten years old, when he was a slave on Tatooine. It was, as they say, love at first sight. But Anakin was young; he didn't know what love was. The only love her knew was the love of his mother. But he knew in his heart that they feeling he felt when he saw her was greater than the both of them; the feeling was love.

 _"Are you an angel?"_ he had asked innocently, after admiring her beauty for mere moments that felt like an eternity. Angels were said to be the most beautiful creatures in the galaxy. This girl fit that description perfectly. Though plainly dressed, he knew she was special. This brief meeting was the beginning of something greater. Neither of them knowing that years later their two lives would intertwine into one.

From the time he was a young boy Shmi Skywalker knew her son was destined for greatness. It was no mere coincidence the Jedi came to Tatooine and Anakin was liberated from the dreadful life of a slave. His destiny was going to be fulfilled, for he was going to be trained as a Jedi. Anakin was pained to leave his mother behind; he was all she had. Her last words still echo in his head... she told him to never look back, which meant have no regrets. _I can get that much from Obi-Wan,_ he thought. But his mother was right. He shouldn't doubt what's happened, or wish it was different.

" _You can't stop the change. No more than you can stop the suns from setting."_

His mother had told him, and to this day that still remained true. But his mother was gone; it doesn't matter how or why, she was just gone. Anakin had come to terms with her loss but he never forgave himself for it. Which is one of his most tragic flaws.

But Anakin's darkness didn't stop there, it only began there.

And this is where the tale of lost innocence begins...

Anakin was still a padawan when he found out his Master was having an affair with Senator Amidala. He was only seventeen when he followed his Master one night after dark. Obi-Wan was up to something. He was always leaving for the night and returning the next morning tired and "hung over". He suspected his Master might have a drinking problem, but whenever he tried to confront him about Obi-Wan would use his...skills to turn the subject against him. But Anakin wanted answers, so one night when he was sure Obi-Wan was leaving he decided to sneak out as well. His Master was very good at sneaking around so Anakin decided to wait in his room for Obi-Wan to come say goodnight; since Anakin was one of the older padawans he was given his own room, right next to Obi-Wan's of course.

There was a knock at the door.

 _Right on time Master,_ Anakin thought.

"Come in," Anakin answered, not bothering to get off this bed or stop levitating the ball with the force he had centered his attention on. The door opened to reveal his Master.

"Anakin, it's late. What are you still doing up?" Obi-Wan scolded.

Anakin rolled his eyes. _Speak for yourself Master. We both know the only reason you're saying that is so you can sneak off to who knows where, but not this time._

"It's the same time you always say good night Master. Besides, I don't remember bedtimes ever being enforced." Anakin said, continuing to play with his ball. Then it was swiped from his force path. Anakin chuckled.

"Yes, but as long as you are my student you will go to bed when I say so."

 _So you think,_ Anakin thought, then smirked at Obi-Wan. "Yes Master." he grumbled.

Anakin then took back the ball from Obi-Wan and waved it over to his nightstand. Both men chuckled.

"Have a good night Anakin." Obi-Wan said.

"And you as well Master." Anakin said, trying not to imply the hidden meaning of his words. Obi-Wan smiled at Anakin for a moment.  
"What?" Anakin said.

"Nothing...good night Anakin." he said once more.

"Good night Master," Anakin said, trying not to sound annoyed.

Anakin watched him leave. He figured Obi-Wan would not leave right away so Anakin laid down on his bed. He waved his hand and dimmed the light. He let out a sigh. It was times like these when he was at ease with himself, when he let his mind wander; back to early years, back to _her_. Oh, just the thought of her brought chills of excitement to his body, feelings he couldn't describe. Never mind 7 years had passed and they hadn't seen each other. He could never forget that face, that voice. He imagined she was beautiful, more so than the young girl he had first met in Watto's shop on Tatooine. Just the thought made his heart soar. He knew better; he knew he wasn't supposed to have these feelings, but it was something he couldn't control. His desire to see her again after so long only made it worse. Anakin punched the button on the button on the nightstand. _12:37 am,_ read the clock.

Anakin sighed. Now was usually the time his Master would sneak off to wherever, and tonight he was getting some answers. Anakin pulled on his robe and waited by the door; waiting for Obi-Wan to creep by, but hesitating at the same time. _Do I really want to do this?_

He sighed again, but he didn't have time to think it over. Someone was coming, he could sense it.

Obi-Wan! Anakin psyched himself up for the chase he was about to pursue. He'd never tailgated his own Master before, he had no reason to, but he needed to know what he was up to.

Anakin knew Obi-Wan would not risk taking a speeder. His best bet was to sneak through the Temple gardens. _That's a good place to start,_ Anakin thought. The safest way to get out to the gardens from his room was out the window. Anakin waved his hand over the inside panel to lock his door, but to leave the indicator on "sleep". He dashed over to the window and opened it. The cool night air greeted his hot cheeks, he shivered. _I've got a bad feeling about this,_ Anakin thought as he was to break so many rules. _It's not like you have a choice. Obi-Wan could be in serious trouble, or get in serious trouble if one or both of us gets caught._

The way down to the ground was only about 10 feet. Anakin easily made the jump, but the run to the gardens would be a problem. How was he to know if Obi-Wan was there? _Stop wasting time, just got!_ Anakin sucked in his breath and made his run across the lawn, praying he wouldn't trip over his feet. Thank the Force he made it. He stopped for a moment and crouched behind a hedge, taking the time to catch his breath but also to analyze exactly what he was doing. He didn't have a plan for all this and he knew he'd be in so much trouble if he was caught; but worse, Obi-Wan would be in trouble too. But maybe that's not a bad thing; at least it would put an end to this sneaking away. _At least I won't be going alone. If I go down, you're going down with me Master._

Caught up in his thoughts Anakin barely had time to sense the presence that was coming, but he did, and he dove into the bush to hide; peeking out the side to see who it was. He crept forward slowly to get a better look. The florescent lights in the garden offered just enough light to see the being's face covered by a dark hood, but Anakin knew. Obi-Wan! Anakin crouched down more to hide from him. Obi-Wan stopped for a moment and Anakin heard him sigh. Then he saw him move over to the wall and start to climb up it. Anakin pressed his hands firmly to the branch of the bust, a little too firmly because it snapped. In the silence of the night it sounded like a much louder noise. Anakin crouched down and put his hands over his head to hide his embarrassment. After a few moments he looked up again. The noise didn't bother Obi-Wan; he was already gone. _Oh great,_ Anakin thought.

In a flash he was up off the ground scaling the wall, trying not to fall as he climbed. It was when he was at the top looking down over the edge did he begin having second thoughts about all this.

 _You can't turn back now when you've made it this far,_ he told himself. And with that he jumped off the wall, his cloak blowing in the breeze as he landed on his feet. He wasn't far behind Obi-Wan now, he could sense his Master's path. Anakin took a breath and ran off in that same direction; letting the Force guide him so he could uncover the mystery of his Master's mischief.

Obi-Wan was very good at keeping secrets; secrets from the Jedi, secrets from his padawan, and quite possibly himself. For seven years he had kept his developing love for Padme Amidala a secret, even from himself. For seven years he denied it, denied the goodness of the kiss they first shared on Naboo when she was just 14, a mere child. But time had changed her into this beautiful woman, though she had not lost her youthful spirit. Even here now in the dark alley outside her apartment she still radiated that beauty beneath her cover some robe.

Obi-Wan held her tight and pushed back her hood to kiss her lips; a much anticipated kiss. It had been a week since they had seen each other last, and Padme could finally breathe again.

"Are you alright?" Obi-Wan asked, his voice hushed.

"It's dark and cold. Can't we go inside?" she asked.

"I'd love to, but you know I can't stay long tonight."

Padme lowered her head in sadness. Obi-Wan cupped her chin in his hand.

"I promise my next visit will not be so far apart." he then kissed her forehead. Padme chuckled. She was still getting used to Obi-Wan's beard tickling her skin whenever his lips touched her. They'd only been seeing each other "officially"( well unofficially since it was a dark secret) for a few months; ever since her 21st birthday when she saw him again at the club; when they rediscovered the love they had kept hidden for 7 years, ever since Naboo. It felt so long ago and she had grown so much, yet she felt so young being held by this man, having his lips caress her skin; she still got goosebumps whenever he touched her.

Padme felt Obi-Wan slip his arms through her robe and hug her body close, rub her back with his gentle hands to relax her. She laid her head on his chest, sighing.

"Shhh," he hushed, "I'm here, its ok."

"I...I don't want you to leave me ever again. Please Obi, don't leave."

"You know I can't stay."

Padme felt tears form in her eyes. Usually she was the calm and rational one who was aware of their situation in all manner, but now she couldn't handle it. She needed him there. She reached up and took his face in her hands, for she needed to look in his eyes; drift away from this world and get lost in the one they had created together.

"I can't afford another sleepless night without you." she managed to say through her tears.

"Oh," Obi-Wan cooed, then took back his hands and placed them on her shoulders, stroking the ends of her hair between his fingers. He didn't know what to say, so he just put his lips to hers and they kissed there in the darkness of the city.


	14. Chapter 14

Padme and Obi-Wan had no idea they were being watched, by the last person they had wanted to see. About 20 feet away Anakin sat crouched behind a pile of garbage. Padme and Obi-Wan were gone now; they had walked into the building because it had started to rain, even though Obi-Wan had said he couldn't stay. Anakin was still amazed he was even able to hold back the urge of intervening when he first saw Obi-Wan approach the hooded figure standing alone in the shadows. And when he drew back the hood to reveal Padme's angelic face Anakin was on the verge of a heart attack But it's not like Anakin could fight even if he wanted to. He was petrified by the sight he'd just seen. Padme, not only wrapped her arms around his Master, but gave and received passionate kisses; with each kiss equivalent to being stabbed in the heart with a lightsaber.

How did this happen?! The girl, woman, he promised to love for the rest of his life was with Obi-Wan. How did they ever find the time to fall in love?!

By the word they exchanged and the closeness they shared this had to be a long term thing. _Emotions like this don't just happen. No wait, yes they do. How else do I explain my own love for her? I loved Padme! Obi-Wan knew that. What a fool I was to believe she loved me!_ Anakin felt his fist clench and his teeth grind together. It had been going on behind his back, quite possibly even before he met Padme. And with anger building up inside Anakin picked up the trash can with the Force and slammed it hard against the wall. The sound not even bothering to disturb the busy city. He then lowered his hood and proceeded out of the alley way, the rain beating hard against him. He could hear thunder rumbling low in the distance. He stared up at the apartment as a flash of lightning illuminated the sky.

 _Mark my words Padme, you will be mine!_

 _Present time_

Padme felt the only safe place left for her to go for the time being was her office. It was her safe haven away from the mess she had to say was her life. A month had passed, which meant she was almost 2 and a half months pregnant. Yes, Anakin let her keep the baby. It puzzled her more and more each day why he said yes, but she wouldn't question him; not when she was going to be able to save and keep the life inside of her. Things seems to be going well, for the time being anyways. The baby would live, Obi-Wan was still safe, and even Anakin had undergone a change, or at least it seemed like it when she saw him; which was seldom. He seemed to spend less and less time at home, not that it really bothered her.

But still she was worried. Whenever Obi-Wan would come she would ask him about Anakin, and Obi-Wan would most of the time say he didn't know anything about Anakin's awkward behavior. He seemed to be secretive and would leave the Temple at odd times, especially at night.

"Well he doesn't come here," Padme had said, "should I be worried?". Obi-Wan had casually brushed the thought away from her head, but Padme knew she needed to talk to Anakin, to see what was going on. But for now all she wanted to do was concentrate on work.

At least with work she was happy and didn't have to worry about being harassed over it. It was like her salvation from the outside world. These walls contained what little happiness she could manage and she savored it as much as her heart allowed her to. She dreaded the hours passing by, when she was summoned to go to the place she was forced to call home. This hell was not a home! Home was supposed to be warm and open, and not even Obi-Wan's presence could lighten the atmosphere; in fact he made it worse. It was times like these when Padme would reminisce back on her youth on Naboo, before she caught in this mess, before she was even queen, before she laid eyes on the man who would beautify, as well as destroy, her life.

 _Flashback_

The sun greeted another day on the beautiful world of Naboo. It was mornings like these Padme thought she was the luckiest girl alive; blessed to be greeted by the sun's light and warmth ever morning she awoke. At just nine years old Padme Naberrie was already a gifted child. She was currently a Level Three member of the Legislative Youth Program studying politics. Now most beings her age would find it boring but Padme found it intriguing, but since she was nine years old it all wasn't so interesting to her. Her favorite thing was when they'd go to the lake retreat and go swimming, which is what they were doing today. Padme jumped excitedly out of her bed and ran down the hall to the bathroom, not surprised to find the door already shut. She could hear her sister singing from the other side of the door.

Padme rolled her eyes, "Sola, get out of there right now! I have to go!" she said, beating on the door.

"I got here first Padme. You'll have to wait." Sola replied calmly from inside. It was a pain having to share a bathroom with her younger sister, but Sola managed. It always took her longer to get ready since she was older than Padme. Moment passed and Padme couldn't wait anymore.

"Sola, hurry up!" Padme called out, beating on the door once more.

"Ok ok." Sola said. Then opened the door. Padme dashed by her sister into the bathroom shutting the door.

"You're welcome. So much for the future queen having manners." Sola said under her breath, then she walked back to her room.

"Ouch Momma, not so hard!" Padme exclaimed as her mother pulled the brush through her daughter's hair.

"Alright, but hold still child. We're almost done." her mother Jobal said. She was simply brushing the knots from Padme's hair. She didn't plan on an elaborate style today since she was going to the retreat for her studies today. Jobal was enthusiastic about her daughter's interest in her studies at such a young age, at such an advanced subject. Padme always talked of fantasies of being queen of Naboo some day. Sola just laughed and made fun but Jobal and her husband Ruwee had great faith in their daughter.

"If it doesn't rain today we may go up to the shaak fields for a picnic today." Padme said excitedly.

"That sounds nice. Your father and I have been talking about taking you and Sola up to the summer house for a few days. The weather has been just beautiful."

"I love Naboo Momma. I never want to leave." Padme said innocently.

Jobal then put down the brush. Padme turned around to face her mother. Jobal kissed Padme's cheek.

"I love you Momma," the little girl said.

"And I love you Padme," her mother replied, hugging her daughter close. She knew Padme was destined for great things and she was so proud of her already.

 _Present time_

Night had fallen on the city and Obi-Wan had grown bored waiting for the right time to say good night to Anakin so he knew it safe to leave. Lately that was the only time he would see his former padawan; on the nights he'd to locked door and seek false permission to go see Padme. Well it was more like hear; most of the time Anakin wouldn't even open the door, which Obi-Wan found to be quite rude. Suddenly there was a knock on his door.

"Come in." Obi-Wan called, then waved his hand to open the door to reveal Anakin standing there. In the lighting he looked very drowsy. Obi-Wan gave Anakin a puzzled look.

"What?" Anakin asked.

"Nothing. I'm just...surprised to see you. It feels like it's been awhile."

"Well I've been very busy."

"Oh I'm sure." Obi-Wan said with a false sense of amusement in his voice. He didn't buy that for a second. "Well any particular reason why you're here?"  
"Just to say our usual good night." Anakin said.

"Well this is new, you coming to me."

"What, am I not allowed to come say good night to my best friend." Anakin said, trying to smile.

Obi-Wan tried not to change his expression when Anakin said "my best friend", but he couldn't help but cringe ever so slightly. Anakin obviously didn't notice anything.

"Well I guess if that's all I will bid you a good night and see you in the morning." Obi-Wan said, getting up to put on his robe. With Anakin being her now was a good time to put the plan he devised up into action. He knew Anakin would not follow him.

"Where are you going Master?" Anakin asked puzzled.  
A smirk formed on Obi-Wan's face as he stood with his back to Anakin. He knew his plan would work.

"Out, for a drink. Would you like to join me?" Obi-Wan said, with a hint of joy in his voice. No harm in being polite right?

Anakin did not share Obi-Wan's sense of amusement, "No. I'm too tired. Besides, don't you think it's a little too late to go out?"

"It's never too late for a drink." Obi-Wan said cheerfully, but Anakin just rolled his eyes. Obi-Wan pulled his hood over his head.

"Have a good night Anakin." Obi-Wan said. Anakin then stepped aside so Obi-Wan could get by. Obi-Wan reached his hand out to wave so he could lock his door. He had no idea at that precise moment Anakin had a hold on the lock to prevent him from locking it. Obi-Wan didn't think twice to check his mistake, which made Anakin smile. Obi-Wan just smiled back.

"Well good night." Obi-Wan said.

Anakin nodded, "Good night Master."  
Obi-Wan could sense Anakin's frustration from his constant good night greetings so he walked away for the night, not even aware what was going to happen while he was gone.

It was rather late at the Jedi Temple Anakin knew no one would come looking for him. He tried to quiet his mind as he entered Obi-Wan's room once more. If there was some other way...but there wasn't. This was a last resort and he'd been dreading it. For days things had been empty; his bank of credits, the pouch, and his lust for the addiction.

The affect was wearing off and he needed it back; to feel, or not to feel, it's power over him. And the only way to get it back was to steal from Obi-Wan. Yes, sinking as low as to steal money from his best friend. _Ha! He's not your best friend. He ruined it so long ago, but you never confronted him about it. You lived with the pain for so long after that but now you've won! But if you won, why doesn't it feel like it?_

Anakin clenched his fist to push the thoughts out of his head. _He stole from me, now I'm just getting even,_ he told himself to ease the restlessness within him. Anakin took a breath. He opened the drawer on the nightstand where he knew Obi-Wan kept some money. Did he really want to look in there? Anakin felt his hand shake as he rummaged through the drawer. He didn't know if it was from the false sense of excitement that came over him or the extreme case of nervousness. He then found a draw string pouch that jingled when he casually picked it up to inspect it.

Score! Anakin felt a maniacal grin spread across his lips. He emptied the contents of the pouch into his gloved hand. The credit sticks fell into his palm into his palm with great satisfaction. He closed them in his fist, and resisted the urge to throw up his hands in a rich victory. To lessen the guilt on his conscience Anakin decided it was best not to take the whole lot. After placing some of the monet back in the pouch he out the drawer back in order best he could. He then frowned as he looked around Obi-Wan's room. Everything was in its place. _Oh, to think I used to live here,_ Anakin thought, thinking of his younger days as a padawan.

Before his relationship with Obi-Wan had undergone a dark change...


	15. Chapter 15

_Flashback_

Anakin had arrived on Coruscant at the Jedi Temple for the first time as a Jedi with a deep undercurrent of fear. But then he recalled the words that Master Yoda had told him on his first visit to the Council: _Fear leads to anger, anger leads to hate, hate leads to suffering._ Standing alone before the Jedi Council had made him nervous, but now he could be calm because his future was laid out before him. He was now a padawan learner under the teachings of Obi-Wan Kenobi. But for some reason he couldn't breathe any easier. Being a Master was just as new to Obi-Wan as was being an apprentice was to Anakin. But neither was making the journey alone, and though the Code was imprinted in his mind he felt a certain attachment to his Master. Maybe because he was the closest connection to Qui-Gon, the closest thing Anakin knew to a father

But at the same time there was still that initial awkwardness between them Obi-Wan was quiet and wouldn't talk to him much. Anakin began to wonder if he had made the right choice to leave his home and to leave his mother. Oh how he missed her, though he swore to put her behind him now that he was a Jedi. It's not like anyone here would understand. Obi-Wan had obviously never known what it was like to have a home and the love of a mother. He wondered if Obi-Wan even knew what love was. At times Anakin felt he didn't belong here _. Everyone else has a purpose, but what's mine?_ He would grow up here and spend the rest of his life bound to this place. It would take some adjustment on his part but he knew he knew he was willing to push the awkwardness aside and fit into his role as a padawan.

But this place and this life were all so new and he was thrown into it so quickly. He wondered if he would ever come to terms with himself. These thoughts would always enter this head when he tried to sleep. He would just lay there in the dark, staring up at the ceiling. He could hear Obi-Wan's rythmic breathing and occasional snoring on the other side of the room; that would cause Anakin to let out a small chuckle every now and then. And that's when he reminded himself that everything would be fine.

The elevator rose up to the apartment and Obi-Wan was anxious to see Padme tonight. When the doors opened the room was serene and calm. He heard a slight wheezing sound; it was Padme sleeping peacefully on the couch. Obi-Wan had to stop and stare at her for just a moment. Her palms rested on her stomach, which was beginning to bulge with the growing baby inside her. He slipped his hand between hers and rested it there. A smile came to his face as he heard Padme coo as she was now waking up. He was now crouched down on the floor beside her. "Good morning," he said cheerfully.

"Morning?...It's morning already?!" Padme asked worriedly, she was up immediately.

Obi-Wan chuckled, "Hush now. It's still night. You just dozed off a bit."

"Oh," Padme said, a great deal of relief in her voice. Obi-Wan sighed at seeing her relaxed.

"How are you feeling?" he asked, gently rubbing her hand with this thumb.

"We're doing fine. She's behaved this week, mornings have been...gentler."

"She? You know? I thought you were going to keep it a surprise."

Padme chuckled, "I am. I guess it's just one of those intuition things, and plus I've always wanted a daughter."

The only response Obi-Wan felt he could offer was a smile, but Padme knew something was on his mind. She slipped her fingers between his and held his hand.

"What's wrong Obi?" she asked.

"Nothing." he said casually, then kissed her hand.

"Something tells me you're not telling me the truth. I can see it in those beautiful blue-green eyes of yours." Padme said, followed by that little giggle Obi-Wan loved so much, but his expression didn't change.

Obi-Wan sighed, "I...I've been thinking about the future again. Our future."

Padme cringed slightly at the emphasis he put on the word "our". He sensed her uneasiness and stroked her hand.

Padme sighed, "I know we should talk about this but I...I can't ...not yet."

"If not now then when? I need to know Padme. We need a plan on how we're going to handle the...situation."

"Yes Obi, I know. I just...I can't, not now. Not when we have such little amount of happiness."

Obi-Wan moved to sit beside her on the couch, not letting go of her hand.

"You're right," he said nervously, "We should be happy."

Padme smiled. With his free hand Obi-Wan tucked a loose strand of her hair behind her ear. He did not take it back just yet; he cupped her chin, stroking her cheek. Padme blinked.

"You are so beautiful." Obi-Wan said. She could feel herself blush. A feeling came over here, one she had not felt for a long time. Feeling she had back when she was young, when it was just her and Obi-Wan. She was not afraid. A single tear fell from her eye and Obi-Wan caught it in his fingers.

"Oh darling, don't cry." he said, brushing her face then hugging her close, "I didn't mean...everything will be alight."

Padme then lifted her head off his shoulder and put her face to his, looking in his eyes.

"No Obi, it's not...I'm crying because I'm happy. I haven't felt this good in years...like no one can hurt us."

"No one will hurt us. I'm here for you, and I always will be."

Obi-Wan then put his lips to hers in a much anticipated kiss, but it was Padme who took control. She began devouring Obi-Wan, driving her lips into his. Obi-Wan could feel her desire so he took back command, letting her give into him. He then put his lips to her neck. Padme sighed in satisfaction, as she felt her nightgown fall off her shoulders. She gave Obi-Wan the ok to proceed. But he knew better, no physical activity. This was as close as they would get. Padme giggled as Obi-Wan's beard prickled her bare skin when he kissed her lower neck. Her head fell back against the couch cushion as Obi-Wan inched closer. She took hold of his tunic, clawing it off of him; exposing his chest to her already mesmerized eyes. She giggled at the tufts of hair he had grown there, but she was soon tasting him again as their lips met. Obi-Wan was supporting himself over Padme so he would not crush her delicate fetus, but Padme knew he could not support himself long.

"Obi.", she managed to say between a kiss.

"Yes," he replied, but did not stop; instead he moved back to sucking her neck.

"This is getting uncomfortable," she said, then let out a moan and pulled his hair causing him to twitch.

"Oh dear. Did I hurt you?" Padme asked.

"No...no of course not." Obi-Wan said breathlessly, his voice strained. "Did I hurt you?"

"Well, no, but maybe we're getting a little too close. I don't want you to fall and crush her."  
"Of course darling, you're right." Obi-Wan said, then he got off of Padme. He looked disappointed so Padme sat up beside him, pulling her straps back up on her shoulders.

"Obi, we can still be close, we just have to be careful." she said, taking his hand. He looked at their hands, then in her eyes and smiled.

"I would never do anything to hurt you Padme," he said.

"I know."

"And I won't let Anakin bring harm to you or the baby."

"I believe you Obi."

He then looked at her bashfully.

"What's wrong?"

"Can I..." his voice drifted as he indicated what he was too shy to ask. His palm hovered over Padme's stomach. She smiled back, and felt herself blush again.

"Sure, go ahead."

Obi-Wan smiled and placed his hand on her tummy. It was warm and soft. Padme looked on his eyes; they were positively glowing. She herself felt she was burning along with him. She loved sharing these little moments with him. Out of the darkness that came before it, she had finally reached the light. Of course she knew it was bound to return soon. She had come to terms with herself about how the happiness in her life came in increments, short increments nonetheless. But still she would enjoy it while it lasted. It was all she had before her world would be broken again.

Obi-Wan began rubbing her stomach gently. Padme sighed in comfort.

"About 6 more months. Can you believe it Obi?" she said, trying not to sound too sad, but there was no way to hide it. Obi-Wan stopped his motion and looked up at her worriedly.

"Let's not...worry about that right now." he said, his voice slow.

Padme nodded.

"But before we get too comfortable. I have to ask, how is Anakin?"

Padme sighed sadly, "He's very...distant from me. It's been that way for months now, ever since I told him the news of the baby. He comes home less and less now."

"I also have noticed his rather secretive behavior. I hardly see him at the Temple and when I do he rushes off in a hurry."

"Well he's not coming here." she said sadly, surprised by her own tone of voice.

"Are you saying you want him to?"

"No...yes." Padme made a sound between a sigh and a groan, "I don't know. I'm just confused. I mean, I like that you and I get to spend all this time together but at the same time I'm worried about Anakin. I want him to appreciate me. I...I want him to love...and this baby...even if it's not his."

Obi-Wan could detect the shakiness in her voice, uneasiness from tears forming behind her eyes. But he didn't know if he should comfort her or not. He didn't know what to do. Padme felt the tears trickle down her cheeks. She felt the happiness melt away now, slipping through her fingers.

"He may do the things that he does, but he's still my husband Obi-Wan. I love him...and I've never really known if he loves me. I'm not saying I doubt us, because I love with you all my heart, it's just..."

Obi-Wan could see her struggling to explain. He put his finger to her lips.

"Shhh," he hushed her, then kissed her forehead softly.

"It's alright. I understand, and you're right. Anakin is your husband and he does need to love you. I don't want you to use me to take his place."

"Obi-Wan please! I would never...I love you. I have always loved you. Even when I married Anakin I...I punished myself for letting you go. I could never give you up because...call it crazy, but I had a strong feeling you'd come back. And you have, and I never want you to leave."

Padme now had her face in Obi-Wan's chest, his soft skin rubbed against her hot cheek. He stroked her hair, and kissed her forehead once more.

"Shh, it's ok. I'm sorry." he said sweetly over Padme's weeps. His lips brushed on her skin as he spoke.

"No. I'm sorry...for everything. For being so selfish. I can't have it all, nor do I deserve it. I'm dreading the future, especially if you're not there with me."

"But I'm not-"

Padme groaned, "You don't get it! We...it's just not possible. I can't live in secret forever. We have to decide what's right. And not necessarily for us, but for our child."

Padme couldn't help but cringe slightly when she said "our child"; it felt strange actually admitting the truth aloud. He could see that she was uncomfortable. He slipped his hand between hers and held it tight.

"It's ok Padme, it's ok. We'll be..." he cleared his throat, "We'll be alright." he stroked the ends of her hair with his other hand. She then laid her head on his shoulder and cried into his chest. She then let go of Obi-Wan's hand and put her palm on his neck. She then kissed it gently.

"I believe you..." Padme whispered softly.

Obi-Wan cupped her chin and lifted her head to kiss her lips in a passionate kiss. In that one kiss Padme let it take her away, let the guilt and sadness melt into it. She saw the glimmer of hope in his eyes and she did believe him. He would protect them. She let Obi-Wan hold her close, but the strangest memory came back to her mind. She remembered what it was like to love and be loved by Anakin.

 _Flashback_

The light peaked over the mountains as the quiet breeze ruffled the curtains of the doorway that led to the balcony overlooking the sparkling lake. Padme rolled over and saw Anakin sleeping peacefully beside her. His arm still over her waist, their slick bare skin still rubbing after what happened last night. Padme inhaled the morning air and rolled over on her side, he back against Anakin''s chest. It was her first morning as Anakin Skywalker's wife. She could still feel chills on her neck as Anakin breathed on her. She could feel him move his arm, placing it on her breast. She knew he was awake now.

"Good morning," he said, his voice rasp and his lips tickling her skin as he spoke.

Padme smiled. He then hovered over her and kissed her shoulder. She could feel shivers of excitement enter her body again, the same she experience last night when she was with Anakin.

"Good morning." Padme replied back, turning her head to look at Anakin. She then laid her head down on his chest. He was smiling as he leaned down to kiss her lips, he then let up.

"So...how does it feel?" he asked.

"How does what feel?" Padme asked curiously.

"To be Anakin Skywalker's wife of course."

He then kissed her again, she openly received him. She took a moment to think. How did she feel about all this? She was married now, to a Jedi! It was forbidden! There's nothing new. She was used to keeping her romantic life a secret, it shouldn't be too hard. After all she'd been Anakin about a year, and previous to that was Obi-Wan. _Uh! That is over! It's been over! Let it go!_ Padme was angry with herself. Here she was cuddling with her new husband and she was thinking of an old beau! Anakin clearly sensed her frustration.

"What's wrong?" he asked, as he stroked her cheek as she laid on his chest.

Padme sighed, "Nothing," she said, trying to smile up at him. Anakin didn't seem to buy it though.

"Come on, you can tell me. We're married now, a bad way to start off is to keep secrets from each other." he said, his hand continuing to stroke her cheek.

"Who said anything about keeping secrets. I was just...thinking."

"About...?"

"About my answer."

"It requires thought?" he asked, a hint of surprise in his voice.

Padme sighed again, "Anakin, you have to understand this is so overwhelming to me. It's going to take some time for the fact that I'm married now to sink in."

Padme saw Anakin's expression harden. This isn't how things were supposed to be. He looked away from her. She reached up and turned his face back to look at her.

"Anakin...I love you and it's wonderful." she said. His face then softened and he smiled. She placed her palm on his cheek, and he placed his over hers.

"I love you...and I understand, but it's just you and me now. No one else, we don't need them. You belong to me and I'll always love you."

Padme couldn't help but feel her spine tighten by the way he said those words. They had such meaning, such divine purpose. But Anakin's lips on her neck, his arms around her waist, hands rested on the small of her back, distracted her from deciphering that meaning. She sighed as Anakin continued to kiss her. And that's when he rolled her over on to her back, his hands still holding the curves of her waist. He looked down on her for a moment. She saw the want in his eyes, and she felt herself sharing that same desire. He would be leaving soon and neither of them knew the next time they would see each other, so she told herself to enjoy this while it lasted.

She put her arms around Anakin's neck. She stroked his padawan braid with her fingers, giving them amusement to attend to. The smile that graced his luscious lips was now curled around her own. She could feel him wrap his legs around hers as their bodies became entangled in the sheets of the bed. She put her hands on the back of his neck and intertwined her fingers in his unusually damp hair. Padme then giggled in her conscious mind because she knew the reason; it was from the sweat on the back of his neck, she could feel it on her hands as she massaged his neck. She sighed in pleasure as she pulled Anakin down on her.

He whispered her name in her ear, kissing it softly.

"I love you Ani." Padme said, and she continued to melt into the man who she was joined with for the rest of her life.


	16. Chapter 16

Obi-Wan sluggishly approached the wall he had climbed over so many times before. The Temple gates would not be open at this hour so he had to resort to the wall. He was still tired, but it was a good kind of tired. He and Padme had spent a wonderful night together, just holding each other close.

Though he loved spending this time with her, he wanted Anakin to love and appreciate her and the unborn child. Though it would kill him inside he felt he had to convince him to go home.

Obi-Wan jumped and pulled himself over the wall, then dropped off the other side to the cold, damp ground. He walked slowly past one of the magnificent fountains, but then decided to stop at its edge. He sat down for a moment, looking over the side at his reflection. For a moment he was disgusted with it. _6 months!...in 6 months you'll be...you'll be a father._ When he thought about that word he cringed. It wasn't part of his vocabulary, nor his resume. He could never, nor shall he have ever, been placed in this position. It was now when the fear was sinking in. But since he was Obi-Wan Kenobi he would not let it defeat him. For if he did, it would be a sign of weakness. And Obi-Wan knew he could not afford weakness.

Sitting by the water's edge reminded him of the moment he truly saw Padme for who she was, the love of his life. For that last night on Naboo, when he saved her. Ha! For he saw it differently, she had saved him. To go through life without this would make him less the name he is at that precise moment. Obi-wan smiled at that thought, but also at the way the light beams of the rising suns reflected

on the still surface of the water. He sighed, for he was content and at ease with himself at that moment. But he felt tired again and the thought of rest sounded so sweet. He got off and started to walk towards the Temple.

That's when he noticed a dark mass on the ground about 20 feet in front of him. He squinted his eyes to be sure they weren't playing tricks, that's when he saw it move. It was a body! _Oh my stars!_

Obi-Wan ran as fast as his fatigued legs would allow him. The body lay face down, the dark robe covering it, but Obi-Wan knew who it was. But just because he knew didn't mean he wasn't in shock.

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan called as he pulled back the hood to reveal his friend's face. Obi-Wan turned him over and cradled his unconscious friend in his arms. His eyes were closed, his skin cold and pale.

Obi-Wan would of thought he was dead, and the sinful part in him wished he was; it would make things far less complicated, but he knew better. Anakin was breathing, and his breath was horrid. Obi-Wan made a disgusted face. That stench in Anakin's breath! He knew it! He took a moment and let it come to him. Crystals of the deathsticks! Obi-Wan was sure of it! For he had had his own encounters with the drugs, including an experience hands on immediately after Padme had left him.

 _But back to reality. Deathsticks! Anakin smoking deathsticks! How did this happen? When did this happen? How long has he been doing this?_ Obi-Wan thought back to that one night he and Anakin were together, when he had trouble retrieving his lightsaber. It all fit! The secrecy, the late night outings, the seclusion. _How could this happen? How could you stoop so low?_ Obi-Wan mentally questioned his motionless friend. But he knew he didn't have time to wonder. If he wanted answers he would have to get Anakin inside. But was finding out the answers from him worth exposing everything they'd come to build? Secret after secret they'd worked so hard to bury would be dug up, just to save his life, but also ruin it, and his and Padme's. Was it worth it? _Is that even a question?! What does it matter, either way you've got something to lose. But who's life means more to you: Anakin or Padme's?..._

Anakin squinted his eyes open. _Where am I?,_ he thought, but his head ached too much to think straight. He took a breath, the room smelled herbs. He heard a faint whistle coming from the other room. He looked in that direction. He knew where he was, he knew the room all too well. He was in Obi-Wan's room. _What the hell am I doing here?,_ he wondered. Anakin tried to get up but his muscles ached. That's when he heard Obi-Wan's voice.

"Don't bother to get up," he said, his disappointment obvious.

Anakin looked over to see Obi-Wan carrying a tray. He didn't know what to say, or even if her could; his throat felt so arid he didn't know if he still had his voice. Obi-Wan placed the tray on the nightstand, then picked up a cup.

"Here, drink this. It will make you feel better." he said, offering the cup to Anakin. He took the cup in his firm grip. The cup was warm and steaming, and it contained a brown liquid. Tea. Anakin couldn't help but make a face. He looked at Obi-Wan.

"Anakin, please." Obi-Wan said, more commanding than he intended.

Feeling the pain in his throat growing Anakin felt he needed the drink, so he took a sip. The warm liquid trickled down his throat, easing the pain. For a moment it brought sweet relief. When he took the cup away from his lips he looked at Obi-Wan again, who was obviously eager for him to speak now. Anakin cleared his throat.

"What happened?" was the first question to pass out his lips, in a hoarse voice he didn't recognize as his own.

"Well I was hoping you could tell me." Obi-Wan replied.

Anakin groaned as he placed the cup on the nightstand.

"What do you want me to tell you Obi-Wan? What do you know already?"

 _More than you want me to,_ Obi-Wan thought to himself. He felt his face turn sad towards Anakin. The part of him that still made sense told him to suck it up and show no sympathy towards him.

Obi-Wan sighed. He didn't want to admit the truth, not now, not ever. But the look on Anakin's face said he was not going to accept Obi-Wan's blank expression.

"Well," Anakin said.

"I-" Obi-Wan cleared his throat, "It was deathsticks wasn't it?"

Anakin's eyes shifted downward. Obi-Wan just stared him. Then Anakin collapsed back down on the bed, his weight bouncing the frame slightly. He closed his eyes and sighed in anger.

"How did you know?"  
'That doesn't matter."

"It does to me. Now tell me, how did you find out? Have you been spying on me?"

"It's not important how I know. What is is that no body else does."

Anakin threw his hands in the air in anger. "What does it matter! You have your reason to turn me in, get me banished from this hell hole!"  
"Anakin!"

Anakin sat up on the bed, not even bothering to care he was in pain. "Oh come on Obi-Wan. We both know you've been wanting to turn me in to the Council ever since you found out about me and Padme. Whatever stopped you before won't stop you now. You can't stop the inevitable."

Obi-Wan sat down next to Anakin on the bed, but not too close.

"Now you know that's true. I care about you, regardless if you want to believe me or not. You need to be here."

"The hell with that! Your best interest is to protect yourself. Tell you what, I'll go turn myself in, that way I can save you the trouble and Padme and I can finally be together."

Obi-Wan was at a loss for words now. What could he possibly say? Anakin was wrong. Of course, he did want to protect Padme as well, but also protect Anakin. Anakin had always lacked that certain discipline it took to be a Jedi, but Obi-Wan knew he couldn't place all the blame on that. He too had broken the Code, and it was best Anakin not know but Obi-Wan could already see he knew something. He would leave this between them, no reason to bring this upon the Council yet.

Anakin tried to get up but his muscles still ached with soarness. Obi-Wan watched helplessly as Anakin collapsed angrily on the bed again. A groan escaped the twisted scowl he now wore on his face.

"Anakin please, take it easy. You must rest."  
"I can't" he said enraged.

Obi-Wan moved over cautiously.

Anakin huffed, "Why are you doing this Obi-Wan? Why are you helping me? I don't want it!"

"Because...I don't want you to do anything foolish."

"You mean more than I've already done."

"Right. So just rest here and drink your tea." Obi-Wan instructed as he got up to leave.

"Where are you going Master?"

"I don't know. Maybe the Archives or the Meditating chambers."

Anakin's frown disappeared and he looked rather pensive. Obi-Wan waited for him to speak.

"You won't...tell the Council on me will you?" he asked in a low voice, with a rather soft and sad tone. Obi-Wan hadn't planned on it. He had no intention of getting Anakin in trouble and losing Padme. But he had a feeling they already knew. Also he hated seeing Anakin this way so he best bet was to help him every way he could.

"No..." Obi-Wan responded, his voice fading.

Anakin blinked, "Well enjoy whatever it is you're going to do."

His words came out coarse and rought, but Obi-Wan knew he meant well.

"I will. Rest easy Anakin."

Anakin nodded.

Obi-Wan turned away and left, unsure about where exactly it was he was going. He just had to get away from Anakin.

Obi-Wan decided to go to the Archives and possibly look how to deal with Anakin and his problem _._ He seemed to be behaving rather well and handling it calmly, more so than Obi-Wan thought he would. Maybe there was hope after all. Wanting the most privacy he could get Obi-Wan decided it would best to use one of the back computers.

"Good morning Master Kenobi. I haven't seen you here in a long time." said a voice. Obi-Wan turned to see the Archives Master Jocasta Nu. She smiled happily at him.

"Oh, well I've been...busy" Obi-Wan the cleared his throat, "But I need to do a little research." he said, trying to smile to make Master Nu happy.

"Oh yes, of course. Help yourself to any of the monitors, but I recommend one of the back ones. There's going to be a class of younglings coming in around 10 so you may want to sit in the back so you won't be disturbed."

"Thank you, but I won't be very long."

"Well, if you need anything please let me know."

"Of course, thank you Master Nu." Obi-Wan said, then bowed his head. Master Nu smiled, then walked away. Obi-Wan walked towards the back and took a seat at a computer, He opened the holonet's search browser. He then took his hand away from the cursor. Did he really want to this? Didn't they log these web searches? Archive security was pretty tight and Obi-Wan had a clean record, so it would draw attention when "deathsticks" came up under his search list. He placed his hands over the keyboard to type the dreaded word, shaking as his fingers hovered over the keys. _Get on with it! You came here for a purpose! Anakin needs your help and if you help him he may ease up. Pamde would greatly appreciate that._ And with that thought eating at his mind and the uncomfortable shaking of his hands, he typed it in.

D-E-A-T-H-S-T-I-C-K-S.

He let out a breath when the search loaded. The first result was the holonet's own information resource page. Knowing it would be the most reliable he clicked the link.

When the article opened Obi-Wan placed his tired eyes on the screen and began to read.

 _Deathsticks, a mild hallucinogen, are primarily sold on Outer Rim worlds but are making their way to inner planets such as Coruscant thanks to acts of illegal smuggling, with its increasing popularity. The origins of this drug began in the illegal medication labs of Coco Town. Deathsticks are given their name for a reason. From the beginning this drug is a killer, taking away chunks of life from the user. It is highly addictive. Thus more difficult for a youth to recover from addiction without medical assitance._

The last two lines caught Obi-Wan's attention head on, fell on him like a wall of bricks, though he was already aware that his best friend is steadily killing himself. He urged himself to keep reading.

 _Deathsticks come in two forms . Liquid, which can be added to alcoholic beverages, but is too strong to ingest alone. The other is in the form of crystalline powder that can be either inhaled or smoked._

Obi-wan felt chills on his spine as he read that. It reminded him of his own deathstick experience. _How could I be so foolish, how can I still, for letting this happen to Anakin! Blind I was for not sensing his troubles._ Obi-Wan hesitated to read on. But he needed something to help Anakin. He knew he would need medical treatment, but how would he ever explain how drugs were in Anakin's system? He scrolled down the page, not bothering to read the historical facts or the effects of the drug. He stopped when he came to a section titled "Treatment".

 _Treatment for the addiction of this drug can be difficult, but now impossible; that is depending on the amount in the user's system, though there is no measured amount on how much it too much. Every being reacts different. There are no chemicals to counteract these effects. If treatment is possible the addict must enter a rehabilitation center(_ _see link at bottom of page to find one near you_ _). Treatment includes surrendering all possession of the addiction in question, medical examination and diagnostic testing, and one-on-one counseling sessions. Costs ranged anywhere from 2,500 to 3,500 credits._

Obi-Wan store long and hard at the computer screen, lost deep in thought. _What am I to do with him? It's not like I can send him to rehab behind the Council's back, but I can't let him continue killing himself._ Obi-Wan sighed and put his face in his hands, but his thoughts were soon interrupted by the voices of about 10 younglings; the class Master Nu had warned him about was coming in. He wondered if he should leave, but the truth was he didn't want to. He didn't want to face Anakin or his problems, he didn't want to face Padme. Surely he would have to inform her of Anakin's dangerous acts. But he felt he didn't know how and for the first time since falling in love he felt afraid. He was afraid of the future, of the unknown, because he was the one deciding the fates of the two people that meant the most to him. And it's not like he could easily choose whose life weighed more. As a Jedi he was supposed to chose Anakin, but his heart forever belonged to Padme. He knew he couldn't run away from this or try and fill his head with useless distractions.

But he couldn't help but admire the younglings as they worked, filling their minds with fruitful knowledge the Archives had to offer. They all seemed to be enjoying their studies, something Anakin did not share when he first arrived at the Temple.

Seeing the younglings gave Obi-Wan an idea, he would seek out Master Yoda, explain the situation and offer a suggestion. For the moment Obi-Wan felt a strange new confidence developing inside of him and he knew he'd better take advantage of it, because the fear would return when it was time to face the problem.


	17. Chapter 17

Anakin lay in Obi-Wan's bed trying to slip into a peaceful sleep, but he felt he couldn't reach that place, not with his secret exposed now. He worried of the trust he put in Obi-Wan to keep that secret between them. He trusted Obi-Wan with the secret of his marriage, but what could convince him that he'd be able to keep this between them. There was also the fact of this child Padme bore.

 _How did this happen?_ He felt so detached from reality. When he would be using the effect would make him forget, well not forget, but make him calm and at ease with this restlessness he felt coming back to him. The stress of current actuality came flooding back in and was overwhelming. He felt the desire to have a smoke, but he used up the last, and he was completely broke.

He felt on the edge of a breakdown, his head couldn't handle it and apparently his stomach couldn't either. Anakin felt a nauseating feeling develop in his stomach. He didn't know when was the last time he ate but he felt whatever was in there begin to rise back up his throat. _Oh hell_ , he thought. He didn't bother that he felt he could hardly move. Anakin stumbled to the bathroom as fast as his sore legs would carry him. He mentally sighed in relief when he made it, just barely let himself go, feeling like his insides were coming out his throat, burning like acid on his windpipe.

There was a subtle comfort in the agonizing hell that was this pain. The sickness was building up in to this explosive moment, but it felt joyous to let it out. When he felt his stomach empty he sucked some breath into his exhausted lungs. Anakin then brought his hands to is throat, more was coming, so he threw his head over the side of the bowl. He then started feeling lightheaded. The sounds that escaped him made his throat sting as the acidic substance burned him. When the spasm ended, he clutched his stomach and fell to the floor in agony, incapable of any thought or movement at the moment. He tried to keep his mouth closed to keep it in but he couldn't control the moaning from the excruciating pain he felt. Not even the Force could calm his twitching nerves, not that he could he felt he could slip into such sweet inner peace anyways.

Anakin felt that disconnected feeling take over him again, he felt detached physically and mentally; his mind was no longer his own. He felt lost, like he was slipping away from the moment. He didn't have the strength to even keep his eyes open; so he let go for the moment and let whatever it was to take him away.

Master Yoda was right where Obi-Wan knew he would be, his own personal meditation cavity. At first Obi-wan hesitated on seeking an audience with him Surely things would take a turn for the worst, if that was even possible. Obi-Wan sucked in his breath and pressed the button to open the door. _There's no time to think it through. Anakin is dying! He needs help, and I can't give it to him without the help of the Council._ Lost in his thoughts Obi-Wan didn't pay attention to the door opening. The thing that brought him back was the rasp of the old Jedi Master's voice.

"Enter you may, Master Kenobi."

That's when the fear re-entered him. He felt his toes scrunch up in his boots as he slowly approached Master Yoda.

"I'm sorry you disturb you Master," Obi-Wan said, as he took a seat on the round cushioned chair before the Jedi Master.

"Hmmm...trouble I sense around you young Obi-Wan."

"Yes...it's about Anakin." Obi-Wan said, trying to hide those feelings he felt.

"Yes, worried about him we have been. Secretive he has become."

 _Tell me something I don't know How is this supposed to help?,_ Obi-Wan thought. But he didn't know he'd be caught off guard by what Master Yoda said next.

"And know something you do on Skywalker's behavior."

Obi-Wan wasn't so quick to let his surprise show; in fact he wasn't even surprised. _I should've known, he knows everything!_ For a moment he wished he never came here. He damned himself for believing in such dishonorable courage.

Obi-Wan sighed, "What do you suggest I do with him? I just found out about it today, but apparently it's been going on for way too long. He'd been slowly killing himself. I don't care if he's expelled from the Order, I just want to save his life, if that's possible. I...I want to give him that chance." Obi-Wan said, with much more volume than he intended. He felt his cheeks flush with heat.

"Be calm you must Obi-Wan. Discuss Skywalker's fate we will." Yoda said.

"So what are you saying exactly Master Yoda?"

"Skywalker's health, more important that is at the moment than his ordain of remaining a Jedi. Brought this upon himself he did."

"Yes Master, and I take part of the responsibility. I should have kept a closer eye on him than I have."

"Enter a rehabilitation center he must."

Obi-Wan was still confused as ever. Master Yoda was too calm, too forgiving, in his opinion. But then again, isn't this what Obi-Wan wanted?

"Master...why are you going about this so easily? Anakin has broken the Code, not to mention the law. Why are you handling it so lightly?"

Yoda blinked and nodded his head, "No good deed goes unpunished young Obi-Wan. His consequences, decided later they will be. A chance Anakin will be given. To the medical center send him, on the path to balance he will be placed. Your responsibility it will be to look after him, see he does right you will."

Obi-Wan was not the least bit surprised he was given the task.

"Yes Master. I understand. I do feel partly responsible for Anakin's actions. For years I've been noticing a change in him, but I was too stubborn to point it out. I don't know how this...habit of his has been going on, but from my research, not long, otherwise he'd be..." Obi-Wan paused; he did not want to want to finish that sentence, nonetheless the thought. But he was curious to find one thing out from Master Yoda.

"But how exactly did you find out?"

"Important that is not. Fortunate it is I know. Take care of Anakin you must Obi-Wan."

"Yes Master, I will admit him to the Medical Center. Hopefully the can flush it out of his system before it's too late."

With that Obi-Wan rose out of his seat, towering over the ancient Jedi Master, but only in means of physical appearance. In his thoughts he felt small, meek, and defenseless.

"Thank you Master." he said, as he bowed before Master Yoda. He then turned to leave. When the door closed behind him Obi-Wan sighed and let his shoulders shrug; metaphoric for the great weight he felt lifted from him, but he knew he'd be crushed once again when he was to break the news to Anakin. Clearly he would not take the idea of entering rehab lightly, but also the face that Obi-Wan had betrayed his trust.

But the fact that the trust between them had been broken already shouldn't have been a problem. Anakin didn't trust Obi-Wan clearly since he had the nerve to try and kill himself slowly over a perios of time. _It's all my fault. It has to be the stress of this baby that has gotten to him. Anakin can't handle the responsibility of a child, a child that's not even his...and he doesn't even know! It's terrible we've kept these secrets hidden from each other for this long...and it's only a matter of time until mine are dug up._ Obi-Wan felt sick, truly sick. He felt like his feet weighed a ton each as he trudged slowly to his room. He couldn't face him, not yet, not ever for that matter. As if he didn't hate him enough, now Obi-Wan felt Anakin had a direct reason. But the hate Anakin had towards him would not even counter the hatred Obi-Wan had for himself. _Why couldn't it've been me?_

The fact that he now had sullen permission to help his friend did not ease the bitterness

Obi-Wan felt towards himself; it only made it worse. He now understood why Jedi were not allowed to love. Oh, just thinking of the word made him disgusted. At the root of it all was his own jealousy. He'd always been jealous of Anakin. And ever since he'd uncovered the loathsome truth he'd pitied that jealousy, as much as he'd pitied that counterfeit sense of happiness. He found he still cared for Anakin, now more than ever because the fate of his life rested in Obi-Wan's hands. Forget he was risking probation, possibly expulsion from the Order. _Oh, it's all my fault,_ he thought. For a moment he did wish Anakin had killed himself, but if he thought like that it made him no better than Anakin.

 _See to it that you right whatever wrongs you've brought upon these lives, not just for Anakin but for Padme and your child as well, but most importantly for yourself._ Obi-Wan stopped when he reached his door. He was in no hurry to enter. The thoughts swarming around in his head were too much to handle and he felt on the edge of an internal nervous breakdown within himself., a silent one, but a breakdown no less, as the thoughts continued to eat away as what sense he felt he could compose for the moment. His movements were mechanical, almost droid-like, as he entered the room. He then felt as if a dark cloud descended upon his world as he stood there, not registering to the fact Anakin was gone.

 _Oh my stars! Anakin!_ Obi-Wan felt his heart plunge into his stomach, disintegrated by the acidic guilt and panic he felt. He took a brief moment to calm his nerves. He couldn't have gotten far with the condition Obi-Wan had left him in.

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan called out, praying for a response, anything, but there was only silence. He felt a strange rage take over him. If he had the strength he would take out his own blade and end his suffering at that moment, but that would only prove how cowardly he was, how un-Jedi like he was acting. The truth was he didn't feel like a Jedi, for months, maybe even years, he had that feeling. He'd broken his life, not only his but his best friend who he still loved despite the mess they'd pulled each other into. Obi-Wan not only felt guilty about Anakin's behavior but for Padme as well. Anakin's abusive behaviors was all caused by him, and he inflicted that suffering on to her, and now this simple being he'd helped wrongfully create. He's poisoned Padme with that guilt and now she was pulling through her own hell. They didn't deserve such matters, nor did he deserve the child Padme carried; yet they had made the decision to keep it.

The future haunted him and every day it grew stronger as they drew near this unknown and undefined place of -Wan really didn't want to deal with that at that precise moment. His priorities should be finding Anakin and taking care of him, put an end to his lethal habit that could possibly end his life. Obi-Wan felt condemned for all the times he wished Anakin was dead. Now he just wished he himself was dead. Then another disturbing possibility came to him. _What if Anakin is dead already?_ Obi-wan clenched his fists and his eyes closed tight. He'd push away that possibility, he would remain optimistic and hopeful; even now when things seemed to be growing dark. He would not lose himself to the madness overflowing within him. He would not let the darkness consume him as it was doing to Anakin.

Obi-Wan didn't want to face the world. All he wanted to do was lock himself away from his problems, put them off for the present moment; but he knew that would only make them worse. For while he cowarded in his own fear they would steadily build up, so much they could possibly crush him. Obi-Wan sighed. He was done wrestling with his thoughts. He would not let it win. He would face it like a man, like the Jedi he was supposed to be. He took off his cloak and let it fall to the floor, not even bothering to pick it up, though such habits of disorderliness were out of his character. Obi-Wan decided he would freshen up, then go and find Anakin.

As he walked down the hall to the bathroom a blood-curdling aroma filled the air. _What in blazes is that? Uh, that's terrible! What happened?_ The smell made Obi-Wan sick to his own stomach. He even felt himself gag, covering his mouth and nose so the stench would not enter him. The source of it was coming from the bathroom. He stopped before her entered, afraid of what horror lay on the other side. But then again, what was there to be afraid of? A unwholesome smell was a pity fear. He would have taken a breath before entering but he would risk inhaling the poison. Keeping one hand over his mouth he opened the door and what he saw made him stop right in his suddenly forgot everything: the horrid smell, the darkness and guilt, his mandate was at the top of his priorities now. For there passed out cold on the floor lay and unconscious Anakin Skywalker.

Obi-Wan was by his side in an instant, though the aura was now more harrowing than ever. He felt he himself would get sick. Obi-Wan closed the lid and flushed it away, but not without taking note of the red blotches. Obi-Wan froze in horror. Was that blood? Ignoring the sickening feeling growing in him now he was down by Anakin's side, frantically cradling him in a tight embrace. All color was drained from his face and now instead of cold he was burning up. The temperature of his skinf burned Obi-Wan's fingers as he checked for a pulse. He felt a weak, rapid beat coming through. Obi-Wan felt tears form behind his eyes. Though he looked on the verge of death, he was alive! Obi-Wan felt a inharmonious sense of joy come over him; he wasn't out of it. The darkness came back in, flooding his brain; incapable of thought. He had to get Anakin out of there. And he could start by getting him out of this room. He gathered up all his strength and lifted Anakin in his arms. _My stars, he's heavy!_ Obi-Wan felt his knees buckle as the pressure of Anakin's weight ascended upon him. He started moving quickly before he would drop him.

When he managed to get Anakin back into the main room Obi-Wan fell to his knees. Anakin's body landing with a thud. Obi-Wan cringed, afraid he had hurt him, or worse disturb him. But he didn't react, which brought a mixture of saddness with relief to Obi-Wan. He glared at Anakin for a moment; he looked like a living corpse. His chest rising and falling every few minutes with wheezing breaths.

Obi-Wan felt the uneasiness steadily growing once more. He then noticed Anakin's right hand was balled into a fist; he was holding something. He took hold of it and opened it. Anakin's muscles relaxed and something fell into Obi-Wan's palm that looked like a chipped tan rock. It had intricate grooves carved into it. Obi-Wan closed it in his own hand and he instantly felt Padme's aura attached to it. He dropped the stone immediately; he didn't need that right now. He'd keep her away from his thoughts for the time being. Obi-Wan felt Anakin's hand move over his. He then felt Anakin's grip grasp his wrist. Anakin's eyes then shot open.

"Anakin!" Obi-Wan said concernly.

Anakin didn't speak, he couldn't speak, for he began coughing and wheezing. He was gasping for breath, suffocating. Obi-Wan began to feel panic inject into his veins once more; his blood draining from him, his body turning to stone. _What's happening?! What do I do?!_ Anakin looked as if her were being strangled by some invisible force, his body twitching and his muscles tightening. _Oh my stars, he's having a seizure!_ Obi-Wan had a split second to react. He reached for his comlink and pressed the emergency button.

"This is Obi-Wan Kenobi. We've got an emergency! I need a medic in the housing quarters. I repeat, I need a medic. Now!" Obi-Wan shouted into the small piece of delicate machinery.

"We're on our way sir." one of the MD droids responded in its flat,metallic, and unsympathetic voice.

Obi-Wan then switched it off, resisting the urge to throw it al the wall. Tears were now streaming from his eyes, burning him. He never felt so helpless in his life. All he could do was wait. Wait for his best friend's death. It seemed inevitable, as he sat by Anakin's side, watching him suffere, suffering with him. Obi-Wan closed his burning eyes and reached into the Force, trying to see if there were any way to change the fates, but all he saw was darkness; so great it would swallow them whole. He couldn't bear to see it anymore. All that was left was the wait, with Anakin's life hanging by a thinning thread.


	18. Chapter 18

Obi-Wan paced the hallway of the Temple's medical center. They had taken Anakin in for emergency surgery due to the damage the deathsticks caused to his lungs. _Come on Anakin, you've got to pull through._ Despite his feelings of jealous towards Anakin, Obi-Wan truly cared for his old friend and former padawan. They had grown up together.

After what felt like an eternity, a MD droid came to get Obi-Wan, "The surgery went well, he is still asleep from the anestesia. He will be sent to the rehabilitation center tomorrow afternoon." Obi-Wan nodded in thanks and headed to Anakin's room. He laid in the hospital bed, a tube in is throat to help him breathe, the color seemed to be coming back to his face. Obi-Wan could sense Master Yoda approaching.

"An uphill battle for Skywalker this will be," Yoda gruntled, "the right thing you did, Master Kenobi."

Obi-Wan nodded in agreement. "If you'll excuse me Master Yoda, I need to freshen up."

He felt as though he didn't have control of his body, the events of the past 8 hours had taken a tole on him physically and mentally. He had to see Padme, and tell her about Anakin. It made him sick to his stomach. He knew that Padme loved him, but Anakin is still her husband. He dreaded the conversation as he made his way to Republica 500.

Padme heard the sound of the elevator whirring as she finished up a few work tasks she had brought home. Her morning sickness was still so awful, she hadn't been to her office for the past few days, not to mention the fact that no one knows she's pregnant.

She let out a nervous sigh, knowing it would be Anakin in that elevator, she wasn't prepared to see him today.

The elevators doors opened, and a disheveled Obi-Wan entered the room. Padme looked up at him, and her face brightened with a smile, but it was not returned.

"Obi-Wan? What are you doing here?" She got up and crossed the living room to get to him. "Are you alright?" She asked as she touched her palm to his face.

"I-I don't know Padme," He couldn't meet her eyes with his, knowing she would be able to get it out of him.

"You know you can tell me love," she said in her calm, soothing voice, "come on, let's sit down." She led him to the couch, sensing it wasn't something good. He seemed so out of it, almost as though he was somewhere far from here.

"You know how you said Anakin had been acting off lately? Not coming home as often?"

Padme nodded to let him know she was listening.

"He-he's been smoking deathsticks Padme. When I came back to the Temple yesterday morning I found him-," his voice broke, "unconscious, reeking of the stuff."

"What? Oh my stars is he alright?" Padme shrieked. She could see the fear in Obi-Wan's beautiful blue-green eyes, knowing full well there was more to this situation.

"He's in the Temple's medical center right now. He started seizing yesterday evening because he was having withdrawals. They had to do surgery on one of his lungs too because of the damage from the deathsticks. He's being sent to a rehabilitation center tomorrow."

Padme didn't know what to say, she'd been seeing a change in Anakin for awhile now, but she didn't think he would ever turn to drugs. Even though she obviously cared for Obi-Wan, she still cared for Anakin, her husband for stars-sakes.

"It-it's my fault Padme. If I had been paying more attention to him, I could've helped him sooner, I could've stopped this," Obi-Wan said.

Padme wiped the tear from his cheek, and brought him closer to her, "You had no way of knowing what was going on with him, and he probably wouldn't have accepted help. He's more stubborn than you you know," she joked.

Obi-Wan smiled slightly, kissing Padme on the forehead and embracing her.

"How long will he be in rehab?" she asked him.

"I don't know," he said taking her hand in his, "a month, two at the most."

"Am I-," she felt guilty for asking, "Am I able to see him?"

Obi-Wan felt a twinge of pain in his heart, "I don't know if it's a good idea right now. But I will check on him and keep you updated on his status. You should be able to visit him in the rehabilitation center."

Padme nodded, hoping she hadn't hurt her love, but she had to know that Anakin was alright.

Obi-Wan kissed Padme quickly on her tender lips, and stood up. "I must be getting back now."

Padme opened her mouth to speak and couldn't. Obi-Wan was practically in the elevator, "I love you Obi." She said quietly, if he wasn't a Jedi he probably wouldn't have heard.

"And I, you."

He disappeared down the elevator. Padme sighed, frustrated at herself. _I hope I didn't upset him. I need him. We need him. Oh Obi please forgive me._

 _Padme screams in pain, "Anakin help me" she yells, "Anakin please!"_

 _She disappears into a funnel of light, the screaming continues_.

Anakin sits up in his hospital bed in complete panic. _Where am I? Where's Padme? Is she alright?_

He looks around the room, examining his surroundings. _Why am I in the medical center?_

He feels a twinge of pain where his new scar on his chest lies.

"How are we feeling Anakin?" Obi-Wan appeared at his door, arms crossed, leaning in the entrance.

"Obi-Wan what am I doing here?"

"You don't remember? You had too many deathsticks, and you almost died. The MD Droids are transferring you to a rehabilitation center tomorrow afternoon."

Anakin sat back in his bed, his face in his hands.

"You need this Anakin, you need to get help. This addiction could kill you."

"Just leave me alone. I don't need your help, it's not up to you how I live my goddamn life Obi-Wan now stay out of it!" Anakin screamed.

Obi-Wan walked up to Anakin stating, "Fortunately it's not up to you any longer. The Council is sending you there, regardless of your wishes," before leaving Anakin's room.

"Obi-Wan! Come back!"

Reluctantly, Obi-Wan walked back to Anakin's room, "Yes?"

"I need you to do something for me."  
Obi-Wan scoffed, "And what might that be?"  
"I need you…I need you to check on Senator Amidala, and make sure she's alright, and let her know I'm okay. Tell her-tell her I'm going on a mission for awhile but that I'll be back soon."

Obi-Wan nodded as he left the room once again, "Of course Anakin."

 _You think I'm going to tell your wife, the love of my life, the one you abuse and treat like absolute garbage, that you're on a mission? It may be during a time of war but I, unlike you Anakin, will not lie to Padme. Even if she's lied to me._

 _Flashback_

Padme paced around her apartment. One of her closest friends, Corde, had just died because she returned to Coruscant. _Who is trying to kill me? What do they want from me? I don't understand._

She sat on her couch with her head in her hands, at least Sabe and Dorme were safe in Naboo, although not for long. The queen had sent them to Padme after what had just happened this afternoon. Captain Typho walked into the room, "M'lady, the senate is sending you Jedi protectors. They will be over in an hour along with a few senators."

"Thank you Captain," she said solemnly. _I hope it's a Jedi I know, and can trust. Maybe not Obi-Wan, that might be a bit awkward._ She hadn't thought about Obi-Wan in a long time. Since she had, after all, broke his heart, and left for Naboo a year and a half ago. Padme tugged at the ring on her necklace, she'd kept it on all this time because she couldn't bear not wearing it. She laid down for a moment only for an hour to have passed. Her fellow Naboo senator, Jar Jar Binks woke her.

"M'lady, yousa have company."

Padme rolled off the couch, she briefly looked at herself in the mirror, hoping she didn't look too awful, and she walked with confidence towards her incoming guests.

As Padme greeted her fellow senators, she heard Jar Jar making a big commotion by the elevator. She tried to peak over there but couldn't see a thing. It looked like Jedi, but she wasn't positive. The Jedi came closer, and she locked eyes with her old lover, Obi-Wan. It was only for a moment but she could feel all of those same feelings flooding back. All of a sudden the ring on her necklace weighed a hundred pounds. Weighing her down, for how awful she was to this sweet man who loved her.

She walked towards him. He held out his hand, "It's a great pleasure to see you again m'lady."

She shook his hand, wishing she could embrace him. He seemed to have moved on. "It's been far too long Master Kenobi."

She continued to greet her guests, including Anakin, whom she hadn't seen since he was a little boy on Tatooine. But she couldn't keep herself from glancing at Obi-Wan, wondering how he had been, if he was okay, if he even cared for her at all anymore. She'd hope to get a moment alone to talk to him later, but with the events of the day it didn't seem possible.

Obi-Wan wandered around the once so familiar apartment, nothing had changed. She was even more beautiful than he could remember. _Blasts Kenobi, you know she doesn't love you, leave it alone._

He won't forget the terrible feeling in his stomach though when he found out her life was in danger. He was shocked to find out that her guards and handmaidens requested Obi-Wan to be her Jedi protector. And of course, he had to drag along his padawan, who was strangely attached to her.

He stared out at the busy Corusant sky, speeders everywhere, so much noise from every which way. Luckily his padawan had had to leave for the night, as there was a mandatory training with Yoda for older padawans in the early morning.

Obi-Wan felt a presence behind him, but ignored it. It was probably the guards circling the apartment for the hundredth time. To his surprise, it was Padme.

He nodded towards her, "Senator Amidala."

"Master Kenobi." She stood a few feet away from him, wanting to get closer.

"How was your time on Naboo?"

"I enjoyed it, it was nice to be away from this hectic planet."

Obi-Wan nodded in response. Just hearing her voice sent chills down his spine, and butterflies back into his stomach.

"How have you been?" Padme quivered as those words left her lips, nervous for the response.

"Fine m'lady."

A few silent moments passed between them. Padme so badly wanted to reach out to him, and hug him, look into his amazing blue green eyes and tell him she lied. She did love him. All she ever wanted in this life was to be loved by him. The whole time she was in Naboo, she was thinking of him and wishing he was thinking of her.

"Well, I suppose I'll retire for the night," She sighed.

Obi-Wan turned to greet her, and noticed something hanging out of her robe.

"Goodnight Senator Amidala,"

"Please dispense the formalities Obi-Wan, it's Padme, please," She smirked.

He smirked back, as she turned to walk to her chambers.

"Why do you still have it Padme?"

Padme turned around, confused by the question, "What do you mean?"

"The ring. I saw it on your necklace."

She clutched the ring, and looked down at its beauty.

"I-I don't really have a good answer."

He nodded and turned back to the busy city.

"Probably because I lied. I never should have lied to you Obi-Wan, and it hurt me more than anything I've ever felt."

"What are you talking about Padme?"

"I still love you," She said, without even thinking about it.

His heart fluttered, he couldn't believe she just said that. He looked over to her in disbelief.

"Goodnight Obi-Wan," she smiled.

 _I love you too_ , the words lingered on his lips, but he could not speak them. They both knew this is as far as it could go. Obi-Wan looked out into the abyss of Corusant, hoping one day, they'd be able to really be together.


	19. Chapter 19

_Present_

Obi-Wan was summoned to by the council for a meeting. He thought it could be to report about the recent events with Anakin. When he walked into the Council Chambers he was surprised to see the room was empty, except for Master Yoda and Master Windu.

"Masters," Obi-Wan said as he bowed slightly.

"Master Kenobi, thank you for coming to meet with us," Windu started, "We have an assignment for you."

Obi-Wan instantly panicked, in light of recent events he certainly didn't want to leave Coruscant. "What is the assignment?"

"Traveling to Corellia tomorrow you will be. Important diplomatic mission with Bail Organa," Yoda explained. He saw the look of worry on Obi-Wan's face and added, "Take long it shouldn't"

Obi-Wan nodded, even though his brain was stirring with thoughts, "Thank you Masters."

 _What if something happens to Padme? What about Anakin in treatment?_ Sure, him and Bail had become friends over the years, but he was not fond of the idea of going on a mission right now. He had to see Padme today, he wasn't sure the next time he would be able to.

Anakin had been in the treatment center for a few days now, and the withdrawals were really starting to kick in. He groaned as he felt a wave of nausea hit him once again. It was interrupted by a Medical Droid knocking, "There is a visitor for you."

It took all the strength in him to stand up from the floor, the Force couldn't help him now as the deathsticks had weakened his connection and the withdrawals didn't do him any good either. He opened the door to see Padme standing there.

She looked at him with a worried face, she couldn't even recognize the man she called her husband. "How are you feeling?" 

"I've definitely felt better. I was wondering when you were going to come see me," he said with a twinge of annoyance in his voice.

She rolled her eyes as he hobbled into his bed. "It's not like I can just waltz into the medical center and demand to see you. How could you even do this Anakin? Deathsticks?! What were you thinking?"

"Padme I really don't want to talk about it right now," The sound of her voice was making his headache worse.

Padme shifted from one foot to the other, while staring at the ground. She was afraid to make him angry, but truthfully she was angry. Angry for how he had treated her and angry because of the person he had become. Most of all, angry at herself for falling for him in the first place.

She finally looked up at him and met his gaze, "Fine. Perhaps another time then."

As she was reaching for the door he spoke up, "Padme," he hesitated. "Do you still love me?"

Padme kept her hand on the door handle as she thought about what he asked her. Did she love him? The man who had abused, threatened and raped her for the past few years? She cared for him still as that was natural for her.

She turned around halfway to try to hide the tears forming in the corners of her eyes, "Not the person that you've become Anakin," and she walked out the door.

Anakin felt his blood begin to boil with anger, he stood from his bed, "How dare you say that!" He yelled to the door she had left through. "You are mine and you will never be able to escape me!" He was starting to regain some of his Force strength, although it wasn't the light Force he had felt most of his life, this strength felt dark.

 _I've got to find a way to get out of here, NOW!_

Padme was overwhelmed from her encounter with Anakin today. She felt exhausted, but to admit that she didn't love the person he had turned into, felt exhilarating, like a giant weight lifted from her chest.

She was so into her own thoughts she hadn't noticed Obi-Wan sitting on her couch as she entered her apartment. "Oh my stars Obi! You scared me!"

He grinned as he took her in his arms, so relieved to be with her again, "I'm sorry my love, I didn't mean to. Despite his happiness to see her, Padme could tell something was bothering him.

"What wrong?," she said with concern in her eyes.

Obi-Wan sighed, "I got assigned on a diplomatic mission to Corellia with senator Organa. I leave tomorrow morning."

Padme frowned, it was always something she dreaded to hear. Loving a Jedi definitely had it downfalls. "How long will you be gone this time?"

"I'm not sure, the Council always says that diplomatic missions will be quick but it doesn't always shape out that way."

Padme stood up and walked toward the veranda, Obi-Wan followed shortly after. "Don't worry love, I'll be back with you before you know it," he said as he put his arms around her waist, and his hand on her stomach.

They both looked out at the vast skyline of Coruscant, not knowing the next time they would this safe, holding each other. Padme decided it could wait to tell him of her encounter with Anakin today. Right now she wanted to enjoy his company.

Obi-Wan woke up just after sunset, Padme sleeping peacefully on his chest. He smiled at how happy she appeared, he would think of this moment often when he was stuck sleeping in a senatorial cruiser.

He scooped her off the couch quietly as to not disturb her, and brought her to her bed. She laid her down, tucked her underneath the blankets, and kissed her cheek softly. "I'll see you soon Padme, I love you," he whispered.

He then made his all too familiar trek in the middle of the night back to the Jedi Temple. He didn't like the bad feeling in the pit of his stomach for leaving Padme. He felt that something bad was coming, but he couldn't sense what.

 _Be safe my love._


End file.
